Rotten Roundup for April 2005, 4/30/05

METAL SLUDGE’S ROTTEN ROUNDUP!

Welcome to Metal Sludge’s Rotten Roundup for April 2005!

Each month, we ask one ridiculous question to a random assortment of ‘rock stars’ and Metal Sludge celebrities, and then we’ll post all their answers here in one spot. We’ll ask the same question to people who have done 20 Questions with us, people who haven’t done 20 Questions with us, our past Sludgeaholics and Sludgettes of the Year, and all kinds of other friends of Metal Sludge. Some answers are short, and some go on and on. Some are funny, some are not. You never know what kind of answers we’ll get from people, so it’ll always be a surprise. Now you have Metal Sludge’s Rotten Roundup to look forward to at the end of each month. Hooray!

This month’s question is:

“What’s the strangest gift you’ve ever received from a fan?”

Mitch Allen, SR-71:

MY SUM 41 BATHROBE! During our “feud” with these guys, a radio programmer who loves SR-71 sent me a blue tericloth bathrobe with a giant “SUM 41″ logo on the back. I think he thought he’d get a rise out of me but I’d loved it! Great marketing idea and quality wise, it’s the best robe I’ve ever owned.

August, Killingbird:

A drawing of us. Hand drawn and very well done too!

Frankie Banali, Quiet Riot:

Primate tranquilizers.

C.C. Banana, 2003 Sludgeaholic of the Year:

Nothing strange yet, but the most surprising gift I’ve ever received from a fan was an impromptu kiss on the lips from a beautiful and buxom blonde, upon winning tickets to an upcoming Overkill concert. Though I was more than happy to accept her gesture of gratitude, Janna Banana was less than amused…

Krys Barratto, ModiFY / ex-Samantha 7:

This little ditty I’d like to dedicate to Bryce at the KQRS Moring show. As some of you may or may not know, I used to date multi AVN award winner and Gen X porn queen Chloe for a year or two. Now, I come to find out that she had an exact replica of her ass made and is sold on her website, chloexxx.com (…and you all saw it here, Krys plugging Chloe!!!). By the way, she is also the anal queen if you didn’t already know that. Now that I think of it, I wonder if that fist toy on her site is mine, I know there was a mold made….hmmmm. Anywhooo, on tour in Europe some little hotty had come up to the bus and handed me a package, so I said “come on in”. I opened it up, and getting all teared up with memories and, taking it as a hint, for what was on schedule for the evening, smiled from ear to ear. You’ll be happy to know it all worked out just fine and I still have that precious ass- still sealed in the package though you perverts !!!!!!! Love you all, we’ll do lunch.

Jason Becker, Cacophony / David Lee Roth Band:

This is tough. I have gotten homemade dolls of myself, pillows, jewelry, homemade raspberry jam, photos of women, but I don’t think any of those are strange. I think they are all sweet. So I guess I can’t think of anything weird.

Bunnie Blue, Sixty-10:

The very first Sixty-10 T-shirt that was made for us came from someone who I did not expect. That was strange and suprising at the same time.

Eric Brittingham, Cinderella / Naked Beggars:

Socks. Who would think, ?wow, i really love this band. I gotta buy them some socks.?

Jacob Bunton, Mars Electric / Lynam:

A blow job from her ear. After we played St. Andrews Music Hall in Detroit, this crazy chick kept rubbing my dick on her ear and …oh… wait.. you said gift. Um I guess food poisoning from a girl that brought us food in Cleveland.

Geezer Butler, Black Sabbath / GZR:

Probably a piece of sugar when I went to Japan. It had some significance, but to this day I can?t figure out what.

Ethan Collins, ex-White Trash:

Do you blow jobs count? That’s definitely the best gift… sometimes strange. One girl had the “White Trash” logo tattoed on her leg. It was pretty big too. That was like a strange gift of appreciation.

Alice Cooper:

A calve’s heart. Two girls that thought they were witches (oh, puh-leeze) left it at my doorstep.

Kevin DuBrow, Quiet Riot:

A girl gave me the clap in 1983. Does that count as a gift?

David Ellefson, F5 / ex-Megadeth:

A worn out old stinky shoe.

Jackie Enx, Rhino Bucket:

It wasn’t really a gift but back in the “Warrior” days, we had a pretty huge following..

I mean people sleeping on the sidewalk to get tickets and stuff.. it was truly surreal..

Anyway, I’m pretty friendly with fans and I would try to always make time for them but this one time this guy is waiting for me and I come out back stage and I see him pick an old newspaper up out of the alley behind the hall and then he asks me if I would wipe my sweat on it… hey, it is rock n’ roll right ?

Troy Patrick Farrell, Mike Tramp?s White Lion / Fastmaster:

I?ve gotten some really creepy letters, hair, and some strange powder? and panties? now most would think panties would be cool? but not if you saw this fan that sent it? (looks like I just lost a fan? down to 2 now).

?Are you my daddy?? has NOT been the strangest gift a fan has given me? yet?

Marc Ferrari, ex-Keel / Cold Sweat:

A voodoo doll.

Glenn ?Archie? Gamble, Helix / Popjoy:

I wont be sending any Thank You cards for those crabs, dammit!

Lizzie Grey, Spiders and Snakes / ex-London:

His girlfriend. Really. I was sitting at the Rainbow one night with Nadir and a couple girls, when this guy and his really hot girlfriend squeezed in next to me. I mean, her lips were more bee-stung than Angelina Jolie. After they sat down what he said to me was more than a little strange. “You’re Lizzie Grey! London is our favorite band, man.” His girlfriend nodded, looking at me really weird as she proceeded to slip her hand over my crotch. YIKES! The dude smiled really weird too then, and said, “I want you to f–k my girlfriend, Lizzie. Okay?” “Ah gee, no, man. I just couldn’t, but thanks for the offer, really.” Now you must understand that the whole time there was this little voice inside saying “Do it, man. Do it. She’s hot.” But this other little voice kept saying, “No way. This is too weird. They?re probably from Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” I’m kinda glad I didn’t accept the ?gift.? It?s the thought that counts anyway!

Alex Grossi, Quiet Riot / ex-Beautiful Creatures:

Chlamydia….. hope I spelled that right!

Vic Hix, Shok Paris / Aftershok:

It’s well-known that I lost a finger in a work related accident. A fan once sent me a replacement finger (hopefully it was from a cadaver) to see if I could use it! Now tell me that’s not messed up!!!!!

Matt Kramer, ex-Saigon Kick:

A size 2 pair of socks in Tokyo, in 1991 with Saigon Kick opening for Ozzy at The Budokan. They got some dedicated fans there. Lots and lots of gifts, I wont talk about me and the beautiful Japanese bombshell that rubbed me with hot water splashes from her hands head to toe after a steam room all nighter, or the models that we all walk out from the Lexington queen night club with in Roppongi, That was just one big strange ass gift.

Josh Lewis, ex-Warrant:

I haven’t had any fans in years, remember?

Mandy Lion, WWIII:

This one is legendary in the business of music by now… A fan sent me one of her nipples and a video tape of her taking it off as a token of her love for me… She was very cute actually and I would have dated her but I happen to like women with 2 nipples…

Lupus, Bloodhound Gang:

I don’t get many. We did get some CDs from fans a few times. The two best were one of a Hungarian girl singing love songs to Q-Ball (she stalked him at a hotel we stayed at, banging on all of our doors late at night), the other one is a girl singing songs, I think she wanted us to get her a deal. It was unlistenable.

Eric Martin, ex-Mr. Big:

I received a doll from a fan that was made to look like me (it was dressed like me), but it looked more like B. Sheehan with my big nose and brown wavy hair. Just what was she saying?

Kenny McGee, Julliet:

Theres has been plenty of those, but I always thought it was strange that complete strangers would give me pictures of themselves…. I guess I was supposed to keep them in my wallet?

Chris McLernon, ex-Saigon Kick:

Food. Any kind. It strikes me as odd that someone would make something for me and then expect me to eat it right there. I appreciate the effort and thought that went into it, but I am a picky (Read: pain in the ass) eater, so it was never a good idea.

And some food items were just odd.

Bean dip?

Alexx Michael, Shameless:

His girlfriend 4 an hour.

George Mihalovich, Aftershok:

What? Fans are supposed to give you gifts? Interesting. As usual, I’m missing the boat- I have a hard enough time trying to fans to buy our merchandise! The next thing someone will tell me is that chicks are supposed to dig guys in bands?

Darrell ?Dwarf? Millar, Killer Dwarfs / Automan.ca / ex-Laidlaw:

Just received Family Jewels/ACDC from a fan as a gift… not really that strange… but appropriate for me. Cant say I have really received gifts that were strange. That’s not including the ones that didnt make it across the border.

Jason Miller, Godhead:

Well one time I got a Ken doll with his hair cut off and painted with white make up to look like me. It actually looked really cool. Another time we got a 6 page letter in the mail from some dude declairing how much he loved us…but it looked like he had peed on it. And NO it didn’t look like the um…”other stuff.”

Pat Muzingo, Junkyard:

Yeow, there has been a few real strange ones. In 1990 I got a Junkyard jean jacket from a fan. It was an exact replica of mine! Down to the stupid buttons and knick knacks. It was cool but, uh, I already had one!

Wendell Neeley, The Classic Metal Show:

A card and a letter from a young female fan, along with a hand drawn picture of herself in crayon, explaining to me that this is what she looked like.

Marty O?Brien, Methods of Mayhem/Static-X/Disturbed/etc. etc.:

A wooden hippopotamus. I’m not lying. I still have it. Don’t laugh… I actually like it.

Eddie Ojeda, Twisted Sister:

Once I got a Rose from a girl fan that did not smell anything like a rose. When I asked the guys in the band and our sound man Charlie what it reminded them of they all said that?s been there.

Jizzy Pearl, Love/Hate / Ratt / etc. etc.:

Herpes.

Ted Poley, Danger Danger:

CRABS

Randall, Sixty-10:

That has to be the all-expense paid trip I got from a die hard fan. Yup, all expenses paid to beautiful middle of nowhere Illinois, population 437. And all you can eat sweet corn on the cob. Homegrown. So was the ditch weed. I did manage to escape back to Florida with a farm girl, though. So I guess the whole charade was pretty strange. With a decent outcome.

Amy ?Stalker Jr.? Romano, 2003 Sludgette of the Year:

I don’t have any fans, and if I did… where the hell are my gifts?! Well, my stalker gave me a gift for my birthday. He flew out from Tenn to LA. Picked me up in San Diego, and we drove back to LA, and then he drove me back home to San Diego. Anyway, I put some music on for the car ride. Now everyone knows JR Stinkfish loves me. Well, we had a fight in the car, but to rekindle the flame we lost, so I put on White Lion’s “Wait”. Stinky might remember most of that drive, my memory sucks. But it went down something like that. So anyway… that was like in what, Sept? Fast forward to Jan, my birthday. I get a gift in the mail from Stinky. He went god knows where and found a stuffed animal of a White Lion. It’s really cute and really soft. He hangs out with my Alice Cooper Teddy Bear. I may not have fans, but I got stalkers!

Billy Rowe, American Heartbreak / ex-Jetboy:

A restaurant menu ???

Jamie Rowe, London Calling / Guardian:

I really can’t think of getting anything strange? most were really thoughtful gifts.

Acey Slade, Trashlight Vision / Murderdolls:

A heart of some kind in a jar of Formaldehyde or Alcohol or some shit. She also had all of our names carved into her body.

Jaime St. James, Warrant / Black ?N Blue:

It’s when a dude offers me his wife.

Mick Sweda, ex-BulletBoys / King Kobra:

Let’s see…was it the dried up hornets nest? Or the thick and voluminous scrapbooks of cut and paste words and pictures of myself scary enough to make me want to be flayed with a dull carpet cutter rather than face another mail drop? Perhaps the Wolfenstein 3D floppies I got (from some unknown but omniscient spectre of a fan) before I’d ever played a computer game, before I ever knew they were all consuming and life altering, before I knew I would one day revel in the nightly online slaughter of thousands of adolescents and preteens. Over and over again. The wooden phone shaped like a car? Or could it have been the Bibles? Yes, it must be the Bibles. They were very much lost on me, but thanks anyway!!

Mike Tramp, White Lion:

A ziplock sandwich bag full of pubic hairs.

Joe Lynn Turner, ex-Rainbow / Deep Purple / Yngwie Malmsteen / et al:

I got a beautiful envelope wrapped in a bow and all and inside was a suicide letter. This Italian woman said she would commit suicide if I did not screw her.

She said she would hang herself of the lobby of this hotel. What I thought was a gift turned out to be suicide note and threat. I ended up meeting with her and talking her out of it, thank God!

Brian Vollmer, Helix:

We met this biker guy in Lethbridge by the name of “Vern” who gave us each a $100 U.S. bill, so we let him ride with us to Portage La Prairie. On the way he got all fucked up and pulled out a gun, waving it around inside the van. Two weeks later he showed up in Kitchener and held a knife to Brent’s throat saying, “You’re my bro-so I’m going to off ya!” Brent somehow managed to get the knife away from him. Two days after that he once again threatened Brent and our soundman Ken (at Fryfogel’s Tavern in London). We phoned the cops and he screwed off, never to be seen again.

Zinny J. Zan, Zan Clan / ex-Shotgun Messiah:

I once recieved some nude pics from a girl who was doing different stunts with a huge dildo and asking me if I would like to go out with her. I thought it was pretty strange cause all she needed to do was to send a regular pic of herself and I could have decided whether I would date her or not. This was overkill for me.