1st (and only!) Mailbag Of 2002, 2/21/02

 

THE 1ST MAILBAG OF THE YEAR 2002!

whooooooooooooooooooooo!

I know it’s been a while since I’ve blessed you with a mailbag, but I have a good excuse. I’m lazy, making minimum wage, and we get too many damn emails. The Sludge mailbox had over 2,200 emails in it! I sat around all day today in the my trailer going through emails and deleting shit. I even responded to a few people, so if you got an email from me, print it out and frame it on your wall because that’s a rarity these days. I need a small army to keep up with all the mail. And that’s not including the mail we get sent to our P.O. Box. Damn, you people have me running all over the place and I haven’t had time to sell ice cream to the kids on the playground! This pace needs to stop. So what I’ve decided is that I’m going to do a weekly mailbag from now on! That way it’ll cut back on the emails that are in my box and you’ll have more of an idea of what other Sludgeaholics are thinking at the time.

Of course I said that back in 1999 and it didn’t happen then, so it probably won’t happen now, but hey, I’m trying to be positive.

Speaking of 1999, I’m listening to the Ratt CD they put out that year. I can hear Stephen Pearcy’s voice as I type this. That just goes to show you that I have totally and completely lost my mind. Somebody please shoot me and take me out of this personal hell. Anybody. Please.

Onto the mailbag.

Hell-o all,

Dan Dryden here, waderyadoon? Hey, it was very cool that you fine folks nominated me and the “Douche of
Metal” for feud of the year. I knew we’d come in last though, it wasn’t much of a feud really. Not only did Rich refuse to retaliate, very few people know who the fuck we are!!!

Ya know, I didn’t even know I was nominated for a Super Balls award. If I would’ve read all the nominees, I would’ve gotten one more vote and Paul Gargano would’ve had one less!

I wish I would’ve known about the Metal Sludge Extravaganza a little earlier. I’ve been looking for a excuse to head out that way. If you need any help organizing an extravaganza on this side of the world, let me know.

Musically I’m just laying low for a while. I’m going to Minnesota for a few weeks in March. When I get back, I may step up the gig search. My former Sick Speed band mate and current roommate Mike and I are
just writing some tunes and getting financially stable.

Keep up the good work you silly little bitches,

Dan

Thanks for the email Dan. We’re always up for a Sludge Party anywhere somebody wants to have one. Atlanta, Tampa, Tibet, we don’t care. Tell a promoter or club owner to email our stupid asses and we’ll see what we can do.

Rumor has it there will be a Sludge Party out East this Spring, but I ain’t saying anymore. Nope. Nadda. My pigtails are closed.

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Check out this next email! Did this bitch have any idea who she was emailing?

To whom ever gets this letter,

I am writing to you to request information about your company. I am currently a college student liking to inquire about internship positions. Please let me know who to contact and where your offices are located.

Thanks,
Laura Buck

Uh, yeah, sure. Send us a resume including nude pictures of yourself riding a horse and we’ll go over it during our next Metal Sludge Board Meeting. We’ll be in touch. Thanks.

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Speaking of dumb emails, this was sent to Ozzy Stillbourne.

How are you doin. This is Steve your bus driver from the Ozzy Ugly kid Joe tour. I just saw your link here and thought I’d say high. Take care see ya later. Steve Huddleston

Ozzy says:
Please send me whatever it is you are smoking because it must be good shit. How can people be that fucking stupid? The name is OZZY STILLBOURNE, not OZZY OSBOURNE. Do you really think Ozzy Osbourne would have an email address at Metal Sludge? Is the world completely mad? Fuck.

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Hi Ozzy i just whant to say that i’am your bigist fan in Sweden and i’m shit you not so keep on rocking.
I hope you come to Sweden and play soon.

From. Jimmy

Set me up with some Swedish chicks and a little bud and I’ll fucking be there ya dumb bastard.

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hey
I know u r prolly not even gonna read this or if u do u prolly won’t e-mail me back but o well u r like fuckin awesome me and some friends made a band totally devoted to u r like our fuckin idal
well later

If I come to your house and repeatedly punch you in the face, don’t take it personally, ok?

While I don’t have to deal with 2,200 emails like Floyd, the emails I deal with are so stupid I think I’d rather take on Floyd’s job. Who’s fucking idea was it to even give me an email address? I never write back to anybody, so what’s the point? This is just Jani Bon Neil’s way of fucking with me. Prick. I’m onto you, buddy! Get me the fuck out of here.

Our huge 20 Questions with Wild Boyz’ Matt Steavanz has gotten a massive response. If only the Wild Boyz had gotten this type of response in 91. Here are various thoughts from the Sludgeaholics.

Matt Steavanz’s 20 questions was AWESOME!!! He was so unbelievably honest… the answers he gave rang with truth that you KNOW he would never have been able to admit to 10 years ago! When he talked about telling chicks that his hair extentions were there to make his hair grow, I simply lost it!!! I wish that there was an email address that I could write to him. Could you guys ask him if he has (or could create) a public email address that we could use to write to him? Let him know that, believe it or not, he has an admirer!

Chris TMC

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What a great 20 Questions! I’m hesitant to admit that I purchased the Wild Boyz cassette back in the day, but the forthcoming honesty Matt exuded in his interview has inspired me. The guy obviously put a lot of time and energy into answering his questions so that we, the frequent visitors to the greatest show on the web, could be entertained. Very cool! And we appreciate it! Okay, the Wild Boyz were not the greatest band (or even a good band for that matter) but you have to respect the guy for putting forth a little effort. I find it ironic that the guys that have so much to gain from exposure on The Sludge act as if they couldn’t give two shits (Kip Winger, cough-cough) and the guy that has no music career whatsoever is more than willing to participate. Matt may not have made it into a Wayne Isham directed video in 1990, but he’s got class. So, perhaps the clowns that haven’t yet realized that the circus has left town should stop taking themselves so damn seriously and understand that the secrets to enhancing or re-energizing a career does not include alienating prospective fans. Matt may not have had the platinum selling CDs or filled 20,000 seat arenas, but some of these former 80 rock stars could take a lesson from him regarding humility.

I’m out like the 3 syllable rule,
Marshall Stackhouse

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Sludge,

You are very sneaky buggers…..I anticipated 20 question from someone I had heard of. Someone of Great Importance, or even Great Impotence. I consider myself easily amused, and I consider myself self-amusing, which would be why I am emailing you instead of reading the 20 questions. Very under handed…it was so Sludge! Good Job on hunting down the elusive animal that the Wild Boyz are….no really. You have officially confused me. Great Job! Thats pretty hard to do. Can you please see what Angus is up to?!?!
Hugs and a few really wet, sloppy, kisses to Bastard Boy Floyd. Fuck you, I don’t have any photos, you’ll never see my boobs…NEVER! And really…you don’t want to see them either. Anyway, thanks Sludge, you always do very well from that basement you supposedly work out of.

Krista

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Hey, Great interview, funny as shit. I actually have that cd. Found it in a Pawn Shop for 3 bucks. Believe it or not, I have seen that cd go on ebay for up to 60 bucks. People love that rare Strip shit.

Skinwalker

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EXCELLENT INTERVIEW!!!!….sign Matt up to write for Sludge ASAP!!..His shit is right on the money!!!

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Are you looking for a Wild Boyz’ CD? Who isn’t? Once our 20 Questions went up, this auction also mysteriously went up. Hmmm….

http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1516526741

Here are a few more emails on our newest celebrity, Matt.

I fell on he floor laughing at that 20 questions. I had never heard of Wild Boyz, but I have to say that Matt has the most beautiful lips I’ve ever seen. It’s such a shame that’s all the “band” had going for them.

The Shedevil

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Sorry guys I liked them and know 4 other peopls who did.. We live in North Carolina.I am listening to the CD right now.For some reason my 100 disc changer will not play it I have to listen to it on my jam box.Leather and Lace is playin’ right now.I would kill to have grew up on the STRIP.I am 34 and still have the LOOK with hair and all.Nobody says shit to me cause they know I WILL KICK THEIR ASS.Too bad some of these guys are too big of
PUSSIES to stand up for what they once were!

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Hey there,

I just read your 20 questions with Matt from Wild Boyz and was floored. I haven’t heard of/from him in so many years and reading that really brought back some memories!

You didn’t post a website or an email address. I was wondering if you had one? I’d love to write to him and say hi. Back in my younger years I followed the band quite extensively and Matt was a good friend. (I’d send you the pictures but then I’d have to admit that my hair was ever that big.)

Anyway, if you have an email address for him, Id really appreciate it. Or if you can pass along mine to him I think he’d remember me.

Thanks so much,
Mary Ouellette

Now people are sending in photos with Matt! I’m telling ya, if Matt plays his cards right he could be the next guitar player in Limp Bizkit!

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Ya know what makes Mat’ts 20 questions even better is that I grew up with Jani Lane In Fla. and his band before going to L.A. was named Dorian Grey ( he was the drummer and Steven Sweet was his roadie. Pretty Freaky…… Much Sludge Love
Stanky.

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Matt from Wild Boyz was hysterical. He did it just right, a little info, a little humor and a little smacktalk. Good job jabroni.
Why can’t people like Dokken, Winger & T-Boner Lee do as good a job – hell they have more money and free time. Anyway – good job on both the questions & answers.

Hail,
Jeff Hall

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Not that you care, but Val from Wild Boyz is in Superpimp- A rock on the decline featured band.

http://www.metal-sludge.com/ROTDSuperPimps.htm

Steve M.

Holy hairspray, we reviewed a band that had a member of the Wild Boyz in it and we didn’t even know it! Had Val come out of the closet and admitted he was in the Wild Boyz, he could have been the one getting all the fame and fortune like Matt. But too late. You snooze you looze!

Enough nutswinging!

Dear Misguided 80’s wannabe rockers but couldn’t get out of the chest club,

What is your problem with bands like Creed, Limp Bizkit & Korn? They suck, they’re whiners, and they suck. Just because they’ll get more girls then the whole staff off your useless web-site? You’re kidding right? All three bands are great but even better are bands like NSYNC, 98* & Backstreet Boys. Now I know you’re full of shit. All three bands have more talent in their throats and mouths then you have…well..you do bitch worse then highschool girls and cry worse then a three month old baby. Why don’t you actually grow some balls, and locate or pull them out of eachothers asses and find someone else other then the other staff members and get laid…DAMN!

Nick Timberlake

Ozzy Stillbourne must have sent this to me because he’s bitter that he gets stupid emails.

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I received my baseball jersey as a birthday present from my wonderful husband, and I have to tell you, this shirt kicks ass! Great quality, fits good, and all-around just looks even better than I thought it would! I feel like I have the coolest shirt on the planet!

I was curious, is anyone ordering this shirt with a number besides 69 or 1? I predict you’ll run out of those numbers real soon…

MetalMama
#69

Jani Bon Neil got #1 and my jersey has #69. That should answer your question about us. Ozzy Stillbourne wanted 666, but when we told him we could only have 2 numbers, he just told us to fuck off.

I do think Rikki Rockett, Jim Bob Dwarf, and Paul Gargano all got numbers other than 69 or 1. But most Sludgeaholics do get 69.

Our Sludgettes Of The Year just did a photo shoot modeling their jerseys, both with 69, so be sure to check that out.

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Hey all you sludgeaholics. I just got back from the Priest and Thrax show in Detroit. What a great fukin show that was. Anthrax kicked off at 8 and tore it up for nearly an hour. And best of all Ripper came out and sang Caught In A Mosh. Too cool. Then Priest came out and they sounded great. Ripper was a damn good replacement for Halford although he can’t quite hit all the high notes. At the end of the show Anthrax sent several half naked strippers on stage with Priest and had them dancing all over for a song or two. The Anthrax came on stage and sang United with
Priest. After the show hte new guitar player for Thrax came out and signed shit and took pictures. I’ll be sending mine in shortly. All in all a killer show and suprisingly enough it was pretty full. The Palace holds like 17,000 people and it was probably 3/4 full maybe a little less.
Later
Sludgeaholic Cecil

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This site rocks!…it shoots from the hip!…great job to all that is involved!…..since you guys/gals seem to know what’s been going on with so many of the pop metal bands of the late 80’s and early 90’s..I’m hoping you might know what ever happened to the guys that made up Wildside!…they sort of happened at the very end of the commerical metal boom!..mid 1992…and then that was it……so any idea?…any of the members go on to other projects, bands, etc…thanks for any info…peace-Gene

Brent Woods is playing guitar with Vince Neil.

Drew Hannah runs a porn company, though I don’t know what it’s called because I’m not up on that whole “porn thing.” Why are you looking at me like that?

Benny Rhynedance was a pirate for a while at Treasure Island in Las Vegas. I don’t know or care what he’s doing now.

As for the other 2 guys, I have no idea. Do I look like 411 to you? Go ask that question on the Gossip Board and see what you find out.

Look for Wildside Exposed coming up whenever I feel like scanning in the fucking photos.

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This is on Ratt bass player Robbie Crane’s 20 Questions.

There are alot of former strip guys out there laughing at the Robbie “the thief” Crane interview. The guy accuses his thievery on some one else. I don’t know about Vic Fox but every one knows Robbie stole gear from 3rd encore and would pawn it or sell it dirt cheap to have money to drink with at the Rainbow. He was also king of acquiring as many endorsements as possible, then selling the free gear hours after receiving it for dirt cheap. I’m sure the manufacturers would not be pleased to know this and would consider this a form of thievery. It takes a big man to admit his mistakes and obviously Crane is a chihuahua. I was also amazed to find out what a tough guy he was, never knew the fear that Robbie instilled on the strip, what a menacing lipstick wearing queen he must have been!

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I know those “audio transcript” 20 questions are a pain in your ass because of the time it takes, but I like them most of all. You get the off the cuff remark before they have a chance to come up with something clever or cool. It makes it seem they should all go down that way.

Great 20 Questions. Now, I’m going to read the Jani Lane Rewind! You guys rule.
John

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I liked Robbie’s 20 Questions, but I’ve known him for quite a while and I’ve never seen these so called “scars” he was talking about. Robbie’s funny. Always exaggerating shit. He’ll never change.

Keep up the good work

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These are a few on Jani Lane’s Rewind.

Wow, you gotta give Jani credits for still standing.. It’s like he’s one of the few, whom you guys have slapped around, that’s smart enough to realize that the best he can do in this situtation is to hang in there. Whatever you may think of warrant, how funny his “weightproblem” may be, the guy deserves respect..
Greetings from Sweden
Daniel

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Sludgers,

Absolutely great rewind with Jani Lane! Seems like he has lightened up from the old days when he hated Metal Sludge. That is two great interviews and I look forward to a 3wind! Keep up the good work!

Ray

Now if we could only get Jani Lane to do a Cooking Column for us, we’d be all set!

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Next up we have some emails on our January Sludgeaholic Of The Month having to step down. Fortunately, I had some military training so I was able to take his place. And it’s purely a coincedence that my answers and Marc’s answers are exactly the same. I guess military people just think alike! Really.

I am in the US Air Force too, and it is stupid that he had to step down…

if he had been in civilian clothes in the picture, probably nothing would have been said to him,,the military has a thing about wearing the uniform to promote things other than military interests….

Also, technically, did you know that in the UCMJ (uniform code of military justice) they don’t allow us to have any kind of s*x except missionary??

SrA Yvonne L. Edwards

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Hotdamn, people, you have put a smile on my face for the millionth time!!! I read what had happened to the last sludgeaholic of the month, and I just could not believe what these people worry about, while Osama is still running rampant somewhere in Afghanistan. To ask someone to take down his pic from a website, because Rock N Roll and funny points of view don’t go very well with the U:S A:F??? Gimme a break!! But then I saw that Major General Bastard B. Floyd has become the proud winner of this title, and I was almost pissing my pants with joy!!!!!!! You guys have gonuts that would make superman jealus! The irony of it all, I just love it!

One more time, thumbs up on a killer website. I have been with M.S. since 1999, and I’ll tell ya, if you keep up this sort of shit, I’ll be here for as long as you are!!!! Killer shit, man.

Kiss This, and Party!!

Vee Vintage

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Dear Metal Sludge,
I just finished reading about Marc having to resign as a Sludgeaholic and I think it is total bullshit! I am in the Air Force myself and Marc is no worse than any of the other male members. Who the hell was the bitch that reported him and what was s/he doing on Metal Sludge if s/he was so uptight? Damn, I’ve had the same problem with bastards e-mailing my base with messages I’ve posted because of certain cunts related to the military. Some people have nothing better to do than to try and get people busted.

>>Marc was then told it was inappropriate to represent the military in such a manner, and they had him ask us
to take it down.<<

Lol. Now that is just insane! Do they really think that the public sees us all as sweet little angels on the straight and narrow? The term “swears like a sailor” didn’t come about for no reason.

I’m surprised they didn’t try to get him on the blow job comments. In case anyone doesn’t know the UCMJ has
sex rules that prohibit any sex that is “unnatural” (ie, anything that isn’t in the missionary position).
Does anyone follow that 1950s rule? Maybe only 5% do, but other than that, hell no!

Lisa E.

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That’s B.S. with a capital B and…well…nevermind…you’re probably not a Slaughter fan. You can defend our country, spend your holidays away from family, miss the Superbowl and the hilarious Bud Light commercials, etc., but you can’t have any fun on a cool website? Funny thing is, the loser who turned you in must have been on the site or at least done a search on you.

Hello loser, try searching for bin Ladin.

That is complete bullshit! For that, Marc deserves to be named Sludgeaholic of the Year!! I guess it’s ok to haze the recruits and sexually harass the women you outrank but to make someone step down from the SOTM is fucking pitiful. Maybe the whistle blower and the person(s) responsible for making him step down need to strap themselves to some of the bombs and missles headed for bin Laden instead of this shit. Here’s to Marc.

cornbread

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Hey Sludge,

Look, I am in the AF too…and while I here ya on the fact that Marc being forced to resign was stupid you seriously have to see it in his CC’s/Superiors view. He’s on your sight while on a govt computer in uniform!!! Now, while I go to the sight everyday while at work and in my uni, I wouldn’t take a pic…onlyb/c of situations like this. Marc seems
cool as hell and he probably didn’t see it this way but his sups have no choice…esp when some stupid airmen reports it. If he had just sent in a different pic they couldn’t do a thing about it. Unfortunately they kinda had the right…and honestly…some cc’s would give him disciplinary punishment cause we shouldnt even be on the sight to begin with. Ahhhh the life of an Airmen!!!!!!!

Sam Look
Beale AFB…

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thats total bullshit. The Air Force should be happy that one of their own has been recognized in the ranks of Metal Sludge. Fight that fuckin war and dont worry about whats going on in this little metal-web site your pilots look at to take themselves away from reality for awhile. Party on

I’m just happy I could take Marc’s place. Next time we have somebody from the government want to be a Sludgeaholic or Sludgette Of The Month, we’ll have to do it stealth mode style.

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Yo Sludge-
So, I just read the piece on Ratt. Pretty great timing as I just saw S.P.’s Ratt last night in Madison, WI. Let me just say that I saw the bogus Ratt/Vixen/Vince Neil tour this summer in Arizona, and it rocked. Last night was definatley the shity side of Stephan Pearcy. Is there any other side? He didn’t pull any of his onstage bullshit, but it was a hellaciously lackluster performance to be sure. As opposed to when Pearcy isn’t lackluster? He lost his lead guitarist and drummer from the summer, and replaced the guitarist with this… “thing”. As close as I can figure, it’s a totally gay looking cupie doll on crack! The dude was ok, but his look fucking killed it. Stephan just looks fat, greasy and tired. The show was lacking in any excitment. And one more thing, do you think Pearcy might lose that god dammned winter ski cap he’s been wearing for the last year? Jeasus Christ ! That thing probably smells like a rotting corpse…or wait, is that just the smell left over after that lame ass show? And for the record, the show was billed as Ratt featuring Stephan Pursey . (exactlly how they we’re saying it on the radio spot ! Poor Carmine Ragoosa can never get any respect!)

I’m out like Stephans enthusiasm- d2

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Next up are a variety of emails on Gene Simmons.

Ye gods. Fresh off his impressive showing at the Sludgeaholic Choice Awards, Gene Simmons just appeared on Late Night with Conan O’Brien. This was just sad. He came out sans makeup, in all black, and literally wouldn’t let Conan get a word in edgewise. I don’t know if it was written like that or what, but even the audience that gave him a loud ovation at the beginning began to groan when he plugged the KISS cell phone and KISS Visa card (complete with zoom-in smile). And the coup de grace, they actually wheeled out the KISS coffin, which Gene assured us were selling like hotcakes. Conan asked who in their right mind would want to be buried in one of those, so Gene suggested it be used as a cooler. In between plugging his book 3 or 4 times, Gene made sure to stick out his tongue a lot and tell everyone that the KISS box set just went gold and that they’re the most successful American rock band of all time. And yes, Conan repeatedly called him a whore. Is there anything he won’t do?

Adam Kogler

Do hotcakes really sell that well? Saying something sells like hotcakes doesn’t impress me. Generally you only buy hotcakes in the morning, and it’s nothing you buy on a day to day basis. I think a better world would be, “They’re selling like crack.” Crack sells. Somebody will always buy crack. But hotcakes? I don’t know.

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I don’t know if the Sludge staff caught Gene “Man I’m a Fucking Dick” Simmons’s interview on National Public Radio’s “Fresh Air” the other night, but it was classic Gene.

Among the highlights, as reported by the New York Post:

* Simmons corrects host Terry Gross on the pronunciation of his Hebrew name, and blames her “Gentile” mouth for making it sound “bland.” Gross is Jewish.
* On the subject of the codpiece he wears as part of his stage costume: “It holds my manhood, otherwise it would be too much for you to take…. You’d have to put the book down and confront life.”
* On the subject of meeting women: “The notion is if you’re going to welcome me with open arms you also have to welcome me with open legs.”

From memory:
* On being in a rock band: “Who wants that? I don’t. I want to be part of a rock-and-roll brand.” He then goes on to brag about the cornucopia of Kiss merchandise he sells.

Simmons also called host Gross “boring,” made several really bad jokes including a pun on “anti-Semitic” (“anti-semantic”) and stated outright that any band that performs publicly in front of more than a few fans is only in it for the sex and money, not the music. He twice dodged Gross’s question “Do you have any interest in music whatsoever?”, preferring both times to rant about how he only performs for the sex and the money.

Gross, perceptibly rattled by Simmons’s rudeness, held back from asking any substantial questions about KISS, its lineup or its history. A listener not familiar with the band would have no idea from this interview that KISS has changed its lineup repeatedly, that Paul Stanley once vowed KISS would never don makeup again, or that history is
repeating itself with the departure of Peter and the likely departure of Ace.

The Post notes the interview’s absence from NPR’s audio archive on the web and erroneously concludes NPR is too embarrassed to release it. NPR’s site gives the real reason the interview is not available for download: Simmons refused to give permission for transcripts or rebroadcasts.

Kiss fans, what’s it going to take?

When will somebody send us a copy of this? What’s a nigga gotta do to get his hands on this?

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Yes, the biggest whore in history has defiled a great show like Conan. Basically the segment was him whoring off his products. It was like watching a fucking infomercial. Conan even called him a whore. Now there?s a fucking Kiss credit card. A KISS CREDIT CARD. What the fuck? Even Kiss checks. What the hell is next? Kiss dollar bills? Kiss silver dollars? Jesus Christ. I wouldn?t even be surprised if he had the word ?Jew? patented. There is also a Kiss cell phone. Then the funniest part of the bit happened. THE KISS KASKET(Probably old $ spells it with a K to be hip with the youngsters so he can rip them off more) was rolled out. Gene walks over to it, and basically says shit about it. They even show Conan while Gene?s spewing his shit, and Conan has the best look on his face ever. It basically said, ?what the fuck?? He even thanked the fans! *insert gasp here* They are the most successful gold selling band in history, which is basically having more gold albums than everyone else. I bet Sebitchian was watching that show and jacking off to Gene. And then when Gene said about the gold record thing, he probably yelled about having 22 million albums sold, but it probably went on deaf ears. But what?s really funny is $ was the last guest on the show. I?m surprised he wasn?t first, because he was probably bitching about being last. But the segment was basically to peddle his book, and the boxset. That?s what he did. Plus he peddled the other shit I mentioned above.

Marcus Johnston

We emailed Gene about doing 20 Questions, and of course we never heard from him. He’d probably want us to pay him to do it. He holds onto a dollar so tight the eagle screams.

I believe the God Of Thunder will soon be heading towards the Pussy List.

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Ok – what the fuck? I’m watching that asshole Sebitchian on Forever Wild and he introduces the Tool video by saying that the reason Tool is so successful is because they don’t appear in their videos?????? Is that not the STUPIDEST thing I have ever heard – does this guy even listen to music or think he IS the music with those ugly ass purple boots. And “heres an oldie but a goody from Tool…Schism”. Um, HELLOOO this song only came out 4/01. I almost feel bad for someone who is that stupid!

keep sludging

Debbie

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Hi. I love your site. I worked in radio and the music industry for about ten years and left to save my sanity. In particular, the stuff you have on Sebastian is priceless. I have many stories about him, if you want to hear them. I got tired of dealing with his ego a long time ago. I don’t know how personal I can get on your site though!

Also, where are Ozzy’s comments on Forever Wild?? It’s aired for two weeks now and I’m dying to see what he has to say about those episodes.

Keep up the great work! But please don’t post my name if you post this on your site!

Mireille

Why do people email us and go, “I have great stories about so and so. Do you want them?” Well unless it’s about your mailman, fuck yes we want them. We’re Metal Sludge. If you have a story on Bach, send it the fuck in!

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Bach has stayed true to the late 80s/early 90s Rock ‘n’ Roll lifestyle. So what’s wrong with that? Sludge criticizes people for selling out, for becoming paper pushers behind desks, instead of staying true. But then you rip the shit out of Bach for keeping on going. What the fuck is up with that? If more 80’s metal heads were like Bach and didn’t sell out, we’d probably be seeing #1 rock albums and arena tours again, instead of this nu-metal shit that can’t sell more than 500,000 units worldwide. It’s obvious that one or more people at Metal Sludge was a musician back in the day, and obviously has nothing better to do nowadays than to run a parody website. Can one say “sour grapes?” Did Bach knock you off the charts in the early 90s? Get over it Sludge! “Forever Wild” kicked ass,
it was INTENTIONALLY funny, you could even say it was a Metal Sludge for the TV. I hope Skid Row will see the show and choke on their own bullshit and beg Sebastian to come “Bach for Good”. Take a good look at yourselves before pissing on Bach. Life is too short, grab it by the horns! Horns up metal heads and rock on muthafuckas!

Dixie Recht

We never ripped on Sebitchian for still hanging in there, we ripped on him because he’s a DICK! An ASSHOLE! Somebody who can’t take the heat. Somebody who gets all pissy just because a Sludgeaholic named “Evil” said his limo broke down. Somebody who blows off a fan in a wheelchair who wants an autograph. Go read Ozzy’s FU Awards if you can’t figure it out, dickhead. We never said he wasn’t a good frontman, or that he couldn’t sing. We did say that he couldn’t write a song if you spotted him 99% of the words, but that’s besides the point. It has nothing to do with him not doing 20 Questions. Erik Turner from Warrant won’t do 20 Questions either, but we’re not giving him FU Awards. Pay attention before you send us such a stupid email.

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hello fellow sludge heads,

now all this Bach bashing needs to stop, obviously you people do not know that Bach is a metal god and Skid Row did sell 22,000,000 records. what is wrong with you people,
i am sure that you people wouldn’t know real music if it kicked you in the balls, that is if you people have any. But what do I know i’m just a 14 year old, but i still stand by my opinion and i think the show is alright, but about you people writing these insults, well it seem to me that all of you guys are just fat ugly hicks who’s grandpa gets more pussy than you, that have shitty mullets and wears a braw.

forever in true metal’s defense,
the ultimate ass kicker.

Dude, you’re 14. When you’ve accomplished 1% of what we have, and what we have coming up this year, then you can talk shit. In the meantime, go back to watching your pubes grow in. Thanks.

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Hey Sludge,
Just read all your letters about Sebastian’s new show. Say what you want about it, but ‘The Rock Show’ just ran it’s course and to be honest was pretty boring. Love him or hate him, Sebastian is a much more interesting character than Scott Ian. Scott’s a very cool guy, but he’s meant for a rock & roll stage, not being a TV host. The fact is, everyone who wrote you a letter slamming Sebastian will never miss an episode because they want to see Sebastian so they can immediately send you a piling on suck up letter to appear ‘cool’. But if those people missed an episode of The Rock Show, it really didn’t matter. I personally wish VH-1 would have kept both shows and I don’t think they dropped one for the other. I think the music will be better on Forever Wild than the Rock Show (That Van Halen video is the shit!) and the fact that Sebastian’s show is an hour, it’s better. They’ve made it very flashy and fast paced and just more fun to watch. With the Rock Show, you couldn’t wait for a video to start while Scott would stumble through his dialogue. Who knows how long this show will last, but it’ll make for great reading on this site. Sebastian can do no right with the people who wrote those letters so it really matters little what they say. By the same token, he can do little wrong in my opinion, but at least if I didn’t like it, I would admit it. Just be glad some good music is still on VH-1. The Rock Show would have been dropped even without this show. As long as they keep doing great ‘Behind the Music’ shows like The Cult, then I’m not complaining.

Ponch

Ponch, we know you were a Sludgeaholic Of The Month, even if you did finish last in the Year End Voting, but please take Sebitchian’s balls out of your mouth because it has to be hard to breathe with them in there.

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Sludgemeisters!

That had to be the worst piece of crap that I ever saw. Oh the monstrosity of it all. What kind of crack is vh1 on by giving sebastian bach his own show. I swear if I heard him say the word “mother trucker” one more time, I would of
shot the television set up. Got to bring back the rock show and scott ian.
-ken outside of chicago

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Next up are some Dokken related emails. Some on George Lynch, some on Wild Mick, and of course, the old grump himself, Don Dokken.

I just attended an ESP guitar clinic in Davenport, IA featuring George Lynch. George was really cool. He played a lot of cool shit that he and Pilson are working on. The stuff really sounded great.

In the middle of the session George took questions from the crowd. Almost all of the questions were stupid ass-kissing drivel from fat dorks. So I decided to spice things up a little. I asked George if “he had ever seen Don without his wig”? I opened the door and George walked right through. He told us that at one point Dokken had to cancel a gig because something happened to Don’s weave. George said Don’s “weaveologist” must have screwed up or something cuz the thing kept sliding down on his head. He also went on to joke that Don had a “hair roadie”……….”a gay Phillipino boy named Petey”. George had us rolling in the aisle. He said after that incident he had a message printed on the back of one of his guitars that said “No Wig……No Gig”.

Another amusing anecdote from the clinic was a guy there who said he had attended a show in the past where Don left the stage and refused to come back because the “P.A. was not up to industry standards”. George replied, “Well neither was Don.”

He told a few other stories about Don along those lines. Basically that Don was a controlling dick that got pissed at George for playing too loud , etc..

Lynch was very cool. I had him sign a picture for me that said “No Wig…..No Gig”.

thanks ,

Matt………p.s. George also mentioned that he no longer speaks to Mick Brown. Not sure what that is about.

Maybe it’s time to do a Rewind with George.

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The Mick Brown 20 questions is almost the best in Metal Sludge history. (second only to Dan Spitz) I grew up with his brother in Northern California and every now and then when we’d miss the bus, Mick would give us a ride. He was cool then and even after tons of hot chicks, and tons of royalty checks, the guy is still down to earth. It’s great to see his loyalty to Dokken, but I’d like to see the guy make a couple of bucks drumming for a band that might actually have some fans.

That has got to be one the best, most honest interviews yet. Its like he has no hidden agendy or lofty personal philosphy. Just a regular guy thats jamming with a band. Sure their not on top of the game anymore but his still
not out for the count. Hell I wish that can accomplish 1/3 of his feats.

Keep on jamming Mick.

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Hey Guys-

The 20 with Wild Mick is killer. I every tuesday I wait like a starving pit bull for the new installment of 20 questions. Mick did it right! Let’s give that dude some credit. A real rock and roll individual..

I’m tired of these bitches like Don and Tommy who cry like little pussy whipped momma’s boys.

Metal Sludge Rules!
Joe

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Well, it’s nice to know some things don’t fuckin’ change. Don Dokken is the biggest peice of shit in the music industry. I know you like giving Bach a hard time…and yeah, he deserves it….but if you had to give out a medal for the biggest fucking cry baby it’s Don Dokken. And if his voice isn’t bad enough, he’s got to whine about every fucking thing anyhow. I saw him in concert back in the day…. you know…when a few people really gave 2 shits about Dokken…. well, his mike wasn’t working quite right….so he proceeded to throw it into the crowd while bitching and stormed off the stage. Yeah…. that’s a way to win a few fans. I’d love to see Don Dokken fall off the face of the musical world. He’s stiffled the creativity of the band for too many years…. and let’s face it. He really does suck.

Just my two cents….
Wendy O. HowiloveSixx

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Ozzy,

I appreciated your comment on Dokken’s rude anti-Sludge comments. I saw Dokken recently in Hartford, CT. You want to talk about a piece of shit concert? Don sang everything in low vocal register. His bass player and guitarist sang (what were supposed to be his) lead vocal parts. [Nothing like a lead vocalist at the front of the stage singing back-up! Woo Hoo! After yawning for a few songs I decided to go into the auxillary bar in another room. Lo’ and behold–it’s Bobby Blotzer! I had more fun ‘BS’ing with him than watching Dokken struggle & humiliate himself. First I asked Bobby WTF he was doing in dead-ass Hartford. He said that Ratt was doing some recording for their new album. I’m like…in Hartford, Ct?! I chuckled and thought, “Whatever dude!” Then I told him old Don’s voice wasn’t for shit that night. He defended him and said he was sick. I appreciated him making a stand for his R’n’R hairband comrade, but I would have appreciated Dokken giving me my money back rather than to willingly subject me to THAT kind of auditory ass-kicking!!! I mean, put an hour and a half of finger nails going across a chalkboard as a Les Paul’s cranking to it rather than torture me with that obnoxious shit! I mean it! Of course, I made it a point to shake hands with old Don after the show. You could tell he was relieved that his miserable ass performance was done with. I showed the same gratitude! Before he talks down the ‘sludge he might want to listen to himself BEFORE the post production team at the studio does the pitch correction on his vocals! From what I heard, his voice sounded as pleasant as Alfred E. Newman (Mad) looks!

Thanks for keeping those R’n’R granddads straight! TunxRDH2003

p.s. One more thing….Don’s hair helmet might work in subdued lighting, but the spotlights clearly outlined the sorry synthetic craftsmanship of that muppet material!! Yikes!!

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Hey Sludgsters,
It’s nice to hear that Don actually showed up for the show in Aneheim. Here in Olympic town last Sunday the guy bitched out of a show that’s been booked for months. They were supposed to play at a local venue called the Ritz club with a local band and L.A. Guns opening. A pretty large crowd was actually lined up for half a block to get in when the club owner came out and informed us that Don had some “throat problems” come up and they were cancelling. That was a hell of a bummer considering I was ready to capture that asshole with my bad-as-hell Fat-Ass Motley Crue Style Barbed Wire Shirt. Thankfully the club refunded half of our money and the local band called “Metal Tears” and the Guns played extra long and absolutely ripping sets to make up for it. They even came back in, bullshitted and had a beer with everyone after the show. Don’s “throat problems” may have come about when that shithead found out that the Ritz Club is actually a bowling alley with a bar in it. !
My guess is he saw the hundred foot high pin out in front and turned the van and u-haul around! Of course that’s just purely speculation at this time. I think that Shut the Fuck Up award ought to be upgraded to an FU award sometime in the near future. Keep up the good work fellas and Sludge On!

I’m out like Don’s hair plugs in a windstorm,

Nickas in Salt Lick City, Utah

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What a fucking dick. Don is a piece of shit. That fucking pussy assed coward can’t even fire Reb Beach or Jeff Pilson to their face. He has to announce it over the internet and then later on claim they quit. Looks like Don was always the asshole and not George Lynch. Fuck this new Don Dokken shit. CMC will be lucky to push 5,000 units, “Long Way From Home” that is for sure. I hope his wig falls off on stage, hits the ground and then he can slip right off the stage. Then just maybe he can make an even bigger ass of himself.

A better title would be “Long Way From Sales.”

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Sludge,

Ya know, I just finished watching Rock Star, and was a little depressed that the metal era is long gone. So I logged onto Metal Sludge to get a glimpse of why, and there’s Don Dokken’s statement to prove that metal, though undeserving of death, did involve one too many assholes. Anyway, that new award made me laugh my ass off. Thanks for ridding the depression…

Dave A.

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Oh Gods of Sludge,
I just have a few comments to say about Don Dokken’s interview.

First off Donny, you are as old and decrepid as Mick Mars is. Get some fucking Geritol and lose the cheap wig Donny.

Secondly, if Metal-Sludge is such crap, then why the fuck did you do 20 Questions you old bastard? Do you have any idea what the definition of “hypocrite” is? I didn’t think so. Here’s the definition since you can obviously read as well as you can “sing”.

Main Entry: hyp?o?crite
Pronunciation: ‘hi-p&-“krit
Function: noun
: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion

Third, and finally, your comments about Poison, I can’t help myself because I think you’re a lying piece of shit. In your 20 questions you said, and I quote. “Nice guy [Bret Michaels], great performer, good singer, kind person, never has a bad thing to say about anybody.” Then in your interview with Rock N Roll Experience you said, “No, no, C.C. was great, he is the easiest one in Poison to get along with, trust me”. Everyone who knows Rikki
has said he’s down to earth and just an all around great guy. I’ve met him and he was just incredibly nice and polite. So that leaves Bobby and somehow just doesn’t seem right. You do the math.

Without Poison you could not have pulled off packing in nearly 15,000 fans for one show. Learn how to be grateful you piece of shit.

Bring on the Sludge!!!
Poison Lady 24

After reading Don’s interview on KNAC last week, don’t look for Poison to be touring with Dokken anytime soon. He kind of talked negatively about Poison at this link: http://www.knac.com/article.asp?ArticleID=405
Like Metal Sludge always says, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say nothing at all!!!

That’s sarcasm, by the way.

In my book, Don Dokken is a great guy. But my book is fiction.

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I just found your site today. It’s cool, I will check back often.
Do you think that metal will ever be mainstream again the way it was in the 80’s? I don’t really care about having the hairbands back, Just the music. Will there ever be bands like Tesla, Ratt or any of the other great bands like that again. Or, has it changed forever?
Just wondering what you think.
thanks-jb

I don’t think any of those bands will have the success they had in the 80s. The only 80s style band that has a chance at making it today is naturally the Wild Boyz! Hello, ding dong!

Look for a Wild Boyz reunion tour playing arenas near you this Summer!

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This gets the honorary Jamie Hunting Email Award.

I’m curious to know if I have a sense of humor. I seem to agree with most of what u say and ask in the 20 22 questions interviews and ur start page.

U were hard on Don, but I guess he shouldn’t have talked shit huh?

I’m curious really. Am I a wimp.. U probably have the answer to that.

Guess I may have too much time on my hands as well if I am here.

I’m in San Diego on vacation but will be home to write and record the new Heaven And Earth cd with stuart and my solo album starting wednesday,

I check mail frequently since all biz is done here these days.

cheers

kelly keeling

& yes I have been in quite a few bands. can’t stay still. it’s been a great ride and it has just started…. again

Okey dokey!

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Sorry I don’t have any pics to share but just got back from seeing Quiet Riot at a small venue. Havent’ seen so many busch drinkin heading bangin mullets since I was in highschool. Anyhow, just wanted to say the totally rocked the place, and the pasta loving diary contributing Frankie Banali was as usual phenomal on the drums. I tell ya, it was great to see these guys in close setting but they belong at bigger venues man, they totally fuckin rocked
the place. Maybe 450-500 for the show, which packed the joint. Even though it was a small place, the place like the meant it and you could tell they enjoyed it as much as us. Good to see some of the bands really stand behind what they do. Thanx to all who came to the show in Struthers, Oh and especially to Quiet Riot for a helluva show. They play in Chicago next so go check em out. They do a meet & greet after the show and will sign autographs till everybody gets one… what a helluva thing to do for the fans…

Your loyal headbanging servant,
fuknutz

ps. can i have a free barbwire t-shirt? i’m broke man…

You ain’t that broke because you’re online. Broke is being a record label who signs Trixter for a reunion album. If you want to save money, cancel your internet account so you can buy a Metal Sludge shirt. You won’t be able to read the page then, but at least you’ll have a Metal Sludge shirt!

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Great Site;
For the past 14 or so years I have been a Merch guy on the road. You name it I’ve seen it. The company I used to work with has always done the Slaughter swag.
The first tour was huge ( Stick it to you, Danas’ motto ) so the former owner decided to give them a huge advance. 1.5 MILLION up front. They opened for Ozzy along with Ugly Kid Joe in 92 on the No More Tears tour. Right from the get go there was problems. sLAUGHTER had a huge set full of ego ramps and fake speakers and their crew ran late every night trying to get the shit off the stage. You know how long it takes Ozzy to wake up out of a coma, so after couple nights of Mr. Sharon Osbourne standing around waiting to go on stage( 1/2 hour the first night ) Ms. Osbourne made them cut back on their production. Somehow they kept the ego ramps.
Dana would check on the Merch every freaking day. Walking around checking the T-shirt stand and Bitching and Moaning ( and pouting ) about the placement of their shirts. Ugly Kid Joe out sold them almost every night. A couple a nights into the tour my Boss came out and told that Dana has been calling my office everyday because the trinkets ( keychains, stickers etc…) where not selling. Duh they had the sLAUGHTER logo on ‘em. Anyway, this was the tour when Marks voice went and years later Dana was still blaming Marks voice tweaking on the reason they aren’t huge.
Here is the dirt. sLAUGHTER still owe Hundreds of Thousands of dollars on the original deal from 92. They make nothing off the T-shirts they sell, all of that money goes to paying off the advance. However somehow they ( Dana ) worked out a deal so they could sell their own stuff 8X10’s and Album flats. The only reason that was agreed to wasn’t to shut him up. From time to time someone would go out and check to see what they were selling and we always caught them doing somethig sneakey. We just got sick of dealing with Dan-ass . I could go on and on but I don’t what to incriminate myself. Tim Kelley was a great guy. I had much fun with him.

Ronnie James Midget

Money means nothing to Dana. When you ask him for money, you get nothing.

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I always love emails like this because simple things make me happy. This is an IM conversation between a Sludgeaholic and Anthony “Foggy” Focx. Brace youself because your brain might not be able to handle the depth of this conversation!

This guy is an IDIOT, I had to send him pictures (of who, I’ll never know) just to harass him!

Afocx: im back.. who is this?
Afocx: what city do u live in
Chrissi333: my name is Chrissy
Afocx: from?
Chrissi333: I’m a saleswoman from NYC
Afocx: coming to LA?
Chrissi333: I travel often
Afocx: what deal?
Chrissi333: selling equipment to the entertainment industry
Chrissi333: believe or not, I even sell fog machines
Chrissi333: dirt cheap
Chrissi333: are you interested in meeting with me?
Afocx: thats so funny
Chrissi333: I’m not trying to be funny
Chrissi333: just a coincidence
Afocx: u r
Chrissi333: so what are you wearing?
Afocx: haha
Chrissi333: come on, loosen up
Afocx: send me another pic
Chrissi333: send me one
Afocx: maybe i will
Chrissi333: our fog machines are special, though
Chrissi333: they only emit exhaust
Chrissi333: you’d never know the difference though
Chrissi333: and the price is right
Afocx: send me another pic
Chrissi333: so you pass out on stage from too much JD, exhaust, what’s the difference?
Afocx: send me another pic or i’m blocking you
Chrissi333: what makes you think I didn’t?
Afocx: who are you.. how did u get my IM name?
Chrissi333: well, let’s be honest, here, you do get around
Chrissi333: tell me about yourself
Afocx: how did you here i get around?
Chrissi333: I have friends in LA
Chrissi333: I think you’ve banged at least 2 of them
Afocx: who did i bang?
Chrissi333: shall we say who didn’t you?
Chrissi333: Can I ask you a question?
Afocx: who did i bang?
Chrissi333: have you ever loved a skinny white man?
Chrissi333: seriously, though
Afocx: no
Chrissi333: I saw pictures of you at Metal Sludge
Chrissi333: you like them, don’t you?
Chrissi333: Speak to me, Tony

Maybe we can get Anthony to run the fog machine at our Metal Sludge Extravaganza 4?

bastard boy floyd
Advice Of The Day: Never mow the lawn on a landmine field.