End Of The Year Mailbag, 12/30/03

 

END OF THE YEAR MAILBAG

whoooooooo!

It’s the end of the year and I thought I’d put together some of the more recent emails we’ve received. Starting with our first email from Iraq!

Hey Metal Sludge,

I’m a Medical Specialist with the 142d Engineer Battalion located near Balad, Iraq (about 40 miles north of Baghdad). I’ve been a fan of your site since your first Stevie Rachelle interview.
I’ve been in Iraq since April, and it looks like I’ll be here until this coming April. It’s been a long road, but I’m glad I got the chance to be here. It’s amazing, some of the shit I’ve seen, and I think it would be hard for anyone who has been here to say that we are doing the wrong thing. This country needed help, and I am proud to have played a small part.
I haven’t been able to view your site for most of my deployment, because our computers had some kind of entertainment block on them, but now I can roam the net free and clear (except for porn, but hey, you learn to deal). So I have been using some of my email time lately to try to keep up on the Sludge.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that your site rocks, and I hope you guys have a Happy New Year. Take care of yourselves back home, and thanks for brightening up a few of my days over here.

Anthony Bryant (Balad, Iraq)

And Happy Holidays to you and the 142d! It’s always great to get emails like this because it’s good to know our silly shit is actually entertaining people who need entertainment. Anthony is in a warzone but he’s still checking into our page! It’s always an honor to hear that type of thing and reminds us why we started doing this page. Well, actually, we started doing this page to rip on Gerri Miller, but that’s besides the point. You know what I’m saying. Keep safe Anthony and keep us posted on how you are doing!

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Dudes!

After that evil, malicious post a couple days ago, I figured you guys were pretty pissed at people who decided to order shit from the Sludgendise Store at the last minute. I was one of those fuckers.

Not that it was for a gift or anything. I was just drunk, and decided that it would be a good idea to get a copy of Metal Shop’s ‘Hole Patrol’ at 3:00 am.

Anyway, it the shipment was received. Thus far, I’ve ordered three t-shirts and a jersey from you, plus the aforementioned Metal Shop CD, and it’s never taken more than a week to get it. You guys are fucking amazing.

I ordered some shit from another website (I’m not naming names, but they have a comic strip about video games, and are probably the uber-geek equivalent of Sludge), and still haven’t got it yet. The order was placed about a week before Thanksgiving. I still haven’t gotten it yet.

And that was something I ordered to give somebody for a Christmas gift! I mean, damn! The shit I order from you, just because I’m a greedy bastard, I get in like three days. When I order something with plenty of lead time, just ’cause I’m in the holiday spirit of giving, it still ain’t got here.

Anyway, I wanted to let you guys know how much you rock. You totally know how to handle e-commerce. Rock on.

Dev

(The Sludgeaholic Who Told Iann Robinson to Eat a Dick)

Yes, we totally know how to handle e-commere. We don’t have a warehouse full of swag for nothing!

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Dear Metalsludge,

Just a quick e-mail to let all your loyal readers know just how incredibly awesome the Hollywood Rocks coffee table book is. Having grown up reading about, listening to (and foolishly emulating in many ways) LA metal bands, this book is a portal back to my youth.

This book is a true joy to behold. I received it as a Christmas present last night and sat in awe on the floor under the tree like a little kid paging through it gingerly while repeating “Wow” like a mantra over and over again.

First, the book is huge and well-worth the price. The rare photos are a delight to look at. The graphic design is contemporary, creative and clean. The copy is insightful, knowing and well-written. The book even smells good! No, not like beer and Aquanet, but expensive, thick glossy paper.

I must admit I was unsure at first. Although I was immediately interested in getting the book when I saw your ad and review, the fact that it was ONLY available on Metalsludge concerned me. I would have first liked to read some other reviews on Amazon or taken a glimpe at a bookstore before plunking (no relation to Steve Plunkett from Autograph) down my $40.

I wasn’t disappointed. This book made my holiday. It is the best book ever written and compiled on the genre.

To all at Metalsludge, you deserve to say, “I told you so.” To 80’s metal fans who are thinking about the book, but haven’t purchased it yet – “lay it down” and order one before they’re gone!

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I gave my husband the Hollywood Rocks book for Christmas and he LOVED it, especially the pages on London. He was the original singer for the band, helping to form it with Lizzie, Nikki and Dane. Some of the old flyers make you want to laugh, and some just make you wanna cry! Great job!

LBT

If you’d like to enjoy the fun and excitement that these last three Sludgeaholics have encountered, you can take yourself over to our Sludgendise Store and buy your own copy of Hollywood Rocks! Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and nothing says “I Love You” like a Hollywood Rocks book!

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Here’s another military email, this time from a Marine somewhere overseas. We thought we’d put it up because he was getting dicked around by a company he ordered something from.

Dear BBF and Sludge-Gods,
I’m a 3 year visitor to metal-Sludge, and as during that time I’ve been serving overseas in the US Marines, your site has brought hours upon hours of news, lughter, and all-around fun. Metal Sludge helps bring a part of back home to me each day thru my pc. Thanks.
I know that many Sludgers like myself, are big pro wrestling fans. And a lot of us like to order videotapes. But we hate getting ripped off and pissed on by assholes.
Please read my below e-mail, and if you feel it’s reasonable enough to do so, please post it on your site, to let other Sludgers know about this asshole.
Thanks,

Cpl Sonny Gutierrez
USMC

Ring of Honor owner rips off US Marine? RF Video????
RF Video tries to pull another fast one.
I am currently serving overseas in the United States Marine Corps, and I recently made an international purchase of $227 from RF video, $30 of that was toward shipping, so close to $200.
The problem arises when I send them an email, simply asking whether they had received my order, and if they could tell me when it ships, so that I can be on the lookout for it, or have someone watch for it. Many times i am unexpectedly called away from home, to “go to the field” for training, 3 or 4 weeks at a time.
Days go by without any answer to my email, so i send another, asking the same questions, and I do receive a reply, but it simply says “yes, we received your order, thanks.” Ok, how about a shipping date or something? So I send another email, asking about shipping, and it goes unanswered for another 4 to 5 days. Do these people know what Customer Service is? So I send another email, telling them that i spent $200 on their merchandise, and as a customer, i deserve at least an answer as to when my package might ship, or has been shipped, something. So they send me an email stating that my package might ship later in the week.
Well, now we are closing in on 25 days. But I ordered by PayPal, and only have 30 days to file any complaint. Well, i am past 3 weeks, so I go ahead and file the complaint.
RF Video sends me back an email, asking why i filed a complaint, that i had no right to do so, and that i have to retract my complaint with PayPal.
Well, PayPal gave them 3 terms to deal with, and i told RF to deal with PayPal, because I had waited and waited for email responses.
1…Refund my money
2…Send a tracking # to prove that they shipped the order.
3…Send proof that they already refunded my money.
So RF writes back and claims that they were waiting for the Flair DVD to come back in stock.
The one reason i placed my order with RF, instead of Highspots, was because RF’s website said that they had the Flair DVD In-Stock, as did their “News” section. They said, we shipped it last week, because we were waiting for the Flair DVD.
Why is it, that they wouldn’t answer my emails, but now that i had filed a complaint, they were now quick to reply?
So I had 10 days to wait on the PayPal situation. Finally, after 5 days, i check my PayPal account, and it shows that my money is being returned to me, but it is still pending.
Well, i emailed RF and “thanked them” for refunding my money, and lying about shipping the package that i had been waiting for, for my son’s Christmas present.
RF emails back and says that they aren’t going to give me anything, and that I am a “fraud” and that they shipped the package weeks ago.
Yeah right. I still have yet to see any proof to track that package. They claimed that “we send our international orders to a broker, and they send them out.” What kind of crap is that? Just more lies.
Finally, I told them that they need some kind of Customer Service Rep in their office, because they have no idea about Customer Service.
I also told them thanks for ripping off a member of the US Military that is serving overseas, preotecting their rights and freedoms.
When you’re overseas in a foreign country, away from friends and family, and you look to a dealer like RF Video to treat you with respect, and bring you happiness of a little bit of american Pro Wrestling, and then they let you down like that, it is disappointing.
The worst part about it is that when i told them i was in the military, he had to say, “so what, you’re a fraud.”
Thanks RF.
I advise any and all to steer clear of “Patriotic” RF Video.

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Sludgeaholics are never shy about giving their opinion.

Sludge,
I was at the Metal Shop show at Double D’s in Morristown, NJ last night when a drunken asshole didn’t like my criticism of his band. First off on the set was the band Hat Trick of Misery, these guys put on a really good show and I have no idea why they came on before the band after them, but then the second band came on and they were horrible, they were called Addiction. First off, this band had no business playing at a Metal Shop show, they should have been opening for a really shitty slipknot cover band, secondly, their lyrics blew and the singer had a vocabulary of a 4th grader (example “this fucking next fucking song fucking goes out to my ex-fucking-wife, it’s called ‘I don’t fucking remember’ .” One of the guys was even in a goofy slipknot-like jumpsuit (yeah, that’s original) and their singer couldn’t carry a note in a bag. Anyway, between their set and Metal Shops set, someone came up and asked me if I wanted to buy one of their CD’s, I just asked if the singer was as off key on the CD as he was on stage, then I get “that’s my brother” and she walks off. Five minutes later a walrus comes up to me and starts shouting at me and then asks me if I’ve ever been in a band, I answer “yes” and she looks at me like she wasn’t expecting that, then the walrus asks if I’ve ever recorded anything.. again “yes” this again confuses the walrus. So she tells me it’s hard work and walks off. then the singer comes up and starts being an idiot again “you fucking asshole, I’ll kick your fucking ass you fucking pussy” I basically ignore him and I think that pisses him off even more because he starts to get louder and more belligerent and I continue my conversation with the ladies I was talking to. Their bass player comes up and shoves me and says “that’s not cool man”. Security finally pretty much tells them to get their shit and go because they’re causing a scene. while they’re over packing up their stuff to go by the door some guy who I thought was security comes and asks me to come over for some reason, so I follow him over to the door and they guys start yelling at me again, and at this point I’m almost laughing because it’s gotten to the point of being so out of hand it’s funny. So after all of the fun from that, Metal Shop came on and rocked the place out.

Mark
November 2003 Sludeaholic of the Month

Only a smart ass Sludgeaholic would ask somebody if the CD was as off key as their live performance. That’s why Mark was our November 2003 Sludgeaholic Of The Month!

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Dear Sludge:

A couple of weeks ago the “Las Vegas City Life” had an article about who should get out of town. The top three were: Paris Hilton, Michael Jackson, and Vince Neil. They had characture pictures on the cover (kinda like the cover of Motley Crue’s Greatest Hits CD). Vince was all fat and wearing a “Shout at the Devil” costume. I couldn’t find the original article online, but here’s a response from Kevin DuBrow.

Keep up the sludge,

Jerrod

Fellow retro rocker defends Vince Neil

In regards to your article “Get out of town!” [Dec. 11]: Your suggestion that Vince Neil be shot because you don’t like his music is quite ridiculous. If we shot every artist that a journalist didn’t like, there’d be no one to listen to. And the lounges here in Vegas would definitely be empty.

And if his music is so bad, how come so many millions of people bought it? Did Vince and Mötley Crüe hypnotize millions of people? I don’t think so.

I understand that every generation has there own music and everyone has an opinion, but you went way too far.

Why would everyone invite Vince to parties and openings if no one wanted him here? I think that Vince is actually good for tourism in Las Vegas. People all over the country see him on TV; they know he lives here; and they go to local watering holes to try and spot him.

You say that “Cheesy redneck anthems for strippers to gyrate to should have no place in the new Las Vegas.” With the large amount of strip joints in Vegas, it seems to me the girls need something to dance to. Or should we close the strip joints too?

And you are the judge of what the “new Las Vegas” should be? Maybe you never heard of Nazi Germany. They had a similar idea of whom they thought should be shot and who should be able to stay in town. It didn’t work out for them.

I hope that Vince buys a home near you, parties every night and plays nothing but Mötley Crüe, Poison, Skid Row and — of course — Quiet Riot on 10 all night long.

–Kevin DuBrow

Quiet Riot

Las Vegas

I’ll have to defend Vince too. Of all the scumbags in Vegas, such as Dana Strum and numerous Elvis impersonators, Vince would be very low on my list of people to kick out. He single-handlely keeps at least 10 stripclubs and various local bars open just by blowing money in those places, so he’s good for the Vegas economy. And I’d keep Paris around too. Everybody loves a drunk whore and she’s fun to have at parties.

Speaking of Kevin DuBrow, in the new Quiet Riot Live DVD, Kevin gives us props from the stage. We have a review half written but haven’t finished it yet. But we have seen it and it’s well put together. Thanks to Kevin and Quiet Riot for the love from the stage.

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Here are a few emails saying what a great person Gene Simmons is.

This is my first e-mail to you guys, and I have been a long time fan of the site! You guys know how to bust balls, especially when it is well deserved! If anyone deserves his balls busted it’s Gene Simmons. This past Saturday, I went to a Gene Simmons book signing in Chicago. The signing took place at the Virgin Megastore off Michigan Ave. I arrived extra early to make sure I got a good spot in line, as I have always wanted to meet Gene since I was a little kid. I grew up on KISS. I was very surprised to find only about twenty people in line (the line did grow as time went on, maybe 200 people). Since I was there early, I got a chance to meet all the Virgin employees that were working the event. One manager in particular was really nice. Zorabella was a little woman in her late twenties who was working very hard despite the fact that she had a cold. After waiting a couple hours for Gene to arrive I overheard Gene’s manager talking with another guy about what a cranky mood Gene was in. I guess Gene was in the backroom doing an interview. Finally, Gene comes out after running about 45 mins late. From the very start of the book signing he was extremely arrogant, and unbelievably demanding to all the store employees. The manager Zorabella, the sweet little woman, was the target of most of Gene’s rude comments. She was standing at the front of the line, and her job was to walk (or pull as Gene put it) the people through in an extremely fast pace assembly line of getting pics taken, and merch signed by Gene. I guess Gene didn’t like how slow the line was moving, which in my opinion was moving fine. He yelled at this sweet lady. His exact comment was “get this right or I’ll have you replaced!” As the signing went on, Gene continued to torture this poor lady who was trying to do a good job of bringing the people through in an orderly fashion. More than once he stopped the line coming through to say some demeaning comment to this little lady. It was like he got great pleasure in being mean to this poor woman! You could see tears in her eyes, as Gene made fun of her in front of everyone. Finally, the other manager working the event had her replaced with a photographer that was documenting the event. Now you had a photographer pulling the line through. It wasn’t long after that that, Gene turned his focus and demeaning comments to the other manager working the event. He asked her for a tissue, and when the lady didn’t move quick enough for his liking he yelled back “NOW.” After all these years of being a KISS fan I was shocked at what an insensitive, and completely rude man Gene Simmons can be. He was nice to the fans coming through the line, but you got this feeling that he saw these people as walking dollar signs. It was a phony nice that he hoped he could someday cash these people in for what he really loves, and that’s money. Sorry Gene. Money is nice, but unlike what you preach in your book, people are more important. If I were you, I would try practicing on being a better human being. Your not getting any younger. Thanks for being there Sludge, and keep up the great work…….

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Sludge,

I rarely write in, but I have to vent about Gene Simmons ‘pulling a no-show’ on his fans at the record store. Anyone who has milked so many, out of so much money, should be ashamed of himself. However, no one should be more embarrassed than the sad sack who drove from North Carolina to meet him. Like the poor bastard that had his head bashed at the Gun’s and Roses show in Vancouver, you got what you paid for. I was hoping to clear a few myths about Gene that might prevent some of his fans (where does he get these people?) from wasting any more time or money.

Myth 1: ‘Gene Simmons is a great businessman.’ Successful entrepreneurs are built on innovation, tireless research, and capitalizing on a gap in the marketplace. Next time you pass by a book store.okay a magazine shop.um 7-11, look to see if there are enough men’s magazines already on the rack. Gene saw an overcrowded market place and said “ME too!” He IS a great
businessman, compared to other musicians who carry names like ‘Blotz’ and ‘Jizzy’. Just because he has lots of money, doesn’t mean he’s shrewd in the boardroom. He was in the right place at the right time thirty years ago and has been riding the diminishing returns ever since.

Myth 2: ‘Gene Simmons is a genius.’ Compared to the drunken, drug addicts and toothless high school drop outs that fill out the KISS Army, he might appear that way. Anyone who has completed a basic University, community college education or even a Sally Struthers shoe repair course, wouldn’t find anything overly intellectual about the man. Gene believes he’s above
average in intelligence, and surrounding himself with folks who are less so, is the easiest way to drive that myth. It reminds me of that old joke about the guy who won a gold medal in the Special Olympics. He was elated until he realized that he was STILL retarded.

Kiss fans I implore you to put away your Kiss dolls, videocassettes and caskets. Move out of your parent’s garage, meet some girls and patronize some artists that will at least pretend you are something more than a car payment.

Thanks, I feel much better.

Love the Sludge,
Kip Von Dirkenschneider

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After reading the posts about Simmons’ failure to show up at a book signing, I felt I had to get some things off my chest and ramble about the Demon and what he has done to KISS.

I’ve been a huge KISS fan for some time now and looked at Gene Simmons as a marketing genious and an icon. After recent years though, it is becoming clear to me as a KISS fan that he is doing more now to undo the KISS legacy than he is to perpetuate it. The 1996 reunion was great, maybe the best concert and tour I’ve ever seen. Then they decided to go back into the studio. The idea seemed like a clear winner especially after bringing in Bruce Fairbairn to produce the album. After all, this guy had produced huge albums for Bon Jovi and Aerosmith. Then they band comes up with this fucked up notion of Psycho Circus, which was an inferior copycat of the old-school KISS formula; a song by Ace, a ballad by Peter, etc. The only thing missing from the album was what these guys are good at; songs about partying and screwing. What a crock of shit! Paul Stanley and Simmons took over a great deal of the production tasks according to Stanley himself. They got one of the top rock producers available and they fucked themselves by fighting for whatever vision they had of whatever the hell a Psycho Circus is!

Ever since this it has been more downhill, but Simmons keeps regurgitating bits and pieces of what once made KISS the most dominant marketing force in Rock n’ Roll. A mediocre magazine; a book that incessantly belittles Frehley and Criss; the prospect of an amusement park; more greatest hits albums; new tours with no new material.
Ace Frehley said it best earlier this year by questioning the reasoning behind touring with Aerosmith; “Why are they opening for a band that used to open for us?” Frehley, supposedly the screwed up member of KISS with poor judgement, hit it right on the head and went further by essentially saying that the Farewell tour should have been just that…a farewell!

Now Simmons, as he has done in the past, sends a fuck you to the fans by not showing up at his own book signing. A man that has repeatedly thanked the fans for making his dreams come true has shown his true colors in my eyes at least.

Simmons should get an FU award for years of rehashing 30 year old songs and theatrics with no legitimate new material and for screwing the fans who bought what is sure not to be the last of the KISS books.

I feel better now.

Never stop sludgin’.

Chris Rhoad

I’ve heard a ton of Kiss fans say they’ve given up on Kiss, but somebody is still showing up to their shows and buying their shit. Nobody wants to admit to backing Gene Simmons nowadays but I think all these Kiss fans are full of shit. I think Kiss fans know that Gene is an asshole, and they want to done with Kiss, but they secretly run out when nobody is looking and buy the latest Kiss Bobble-head. If people weren’t buying the shit it wouldn’t be available to buy. Nobody can buy Warrant Bobble-heads or full figured busts of Jani Lane because nobody cares, but somebody still cares about Kiss because of all that shit that is out there to buy! It’s like an addiction. They know it’s bad and dirty and sucking the money out of them, but they can’t quit. “Ok, this is the last time I’m spending $500 on a glass figurine of Paul Stanley’s ass.” I think this Kiss addiction could quite possibly be worse than heroin. Somebody needs to look into this.

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A Gerri Miller sighting?

Hey guys-

I was just reading the January issue of Muscle and Fitness (there was nothing else in the bathroom) and there was a brief interview with the girl who won America’s New Top Model or whatever that terrible Tyra Banks show was called.

The interview was fairly short and very lame, and when I got to the end, what name do I see as the author of the piece but Gerri Miller. There can be only one! I looked over the questions again, things like, “Were you athletic as a kid?” and “You were a Hooters girl?” and realized that these questions could just as easily have been in Metal Edge, circa 1989. (Except I don’t think Jani Lane was ever a Hooters girl.)

I checked the editorial page’s list of contributing editors and she was not listed as a regular. I can only imagine that she now works freelance interviewing D-level celebrities, now that she doesn’t have her own D-level celebrity magazine.

Thanks for your time.

Michelle, aka DragonAttack

I know when I think of Muscle & Fitness I think of Gerri Miller! Last we heard Gerri was working freelance for various magazines. She’s really kept a low profile since leaving Metal Edge. Nobody even sees her at shows anymore and she’s basically been forced into exile by the Sludgeaholics. We’d still love to do 20 Questions with her. Maybe she can freelance for us and help us update our Rock On The Decline section. Or better yet, she can moderate our Gossip Boards! Good times.

Well this is the last time you’ll be hearing from me until next year! Don’t you hate those fucking jokes? Everybody thinks they’re so cute, “talk to you next year.” Hey, how about go fuck yourself next year instead.

Anyway, have a safe and happy 1984!

bastard boy floyd