Mailbag For February, 2/8/04

 

A FEBRUARY MAILBAG FOR….UH, FEBRUARY!

whoooooooooooo!

It’s been a while since I put up a half-assed mailbag and I thought I’d share some of the lastest emails we’ve gotten. The first one is from recent 20 Questions victim Michael Hannon, who used to be in Salty Dog, for those of you keeping score at home.

Hey Sludgers!

Thanks for the “20 Questions”, not only was it fun to do, a lot of people have found out about the band because of you, our web sales and hits have gone up dramatically since it went up. If you need help with an Ohio “Sludfge-Fest” we’d be happy to Help!

Sorry about your scanner.

Michael Hannon

Next up are two emails saying that we got plugged on XM Radio’s The Boneyard, Channel 41, which plays 80s style hard rock.

Hi Jani,
Don’t know if anyone else told you this yet, but today around 5pm, Logan from the Boneyard (channel 41) on XM radio played AC/DC, then went on the air and said that he’d been to your site looking up sales figures for bands, and that AC/DC were the 3rd best selling band of all time. He called you just “Sludge” at first, then corrected himself and said, “Metal Sludge, I meant to say METAL Sludge! Check their site out, it’s great!”
That made my fuckin’ day, hearing the music director of my favorite XM channel give my favorite web site some acknowledgement.
Take care and as always, keep on Sludgin’!
Elizabeth in NC

Email #2

props xm radio is pimping your web site. the boneyard channell 41 plays brides of destruction and fireball ministry and mentioned your 20 questions. tbone

The Boneyard and XM Radio are the shit! If you don’t have XM Radio, then you have no idea what you’re missing. For example, right now on the Boneyard they’re playing Britny Fox “TLUC.” You’ll hear stuff you didn’t even know was out. Like I’ve been hearing the new Matt Sorum song “Forgiving Kind” and I didn’t even know Matt Sorum had a CD out, or that he sung. Shows you how on top of things I am. And they just played Stratovarius, so that’s not something you’re going to hear on your local rock station. They even play stuff that hasn’t even been recorded yet, they’re that advanced! Bands that haven’t even formed yet or recorded songs are getting played on The Boneyard. They kick that much ass! Anyway, all the XM channels are kick ass. Go check out www.xmradio.com for more info. Now the Britny Fox song just ended and they’re going into Judas Priest “Rock Hard, Ride Free.” When was the last time you heard that on regular radio? Sorry if I sound like I’m pimping out XM Radio and the Boneyard but this thing is as cool as when I first got cable back in 1997! Remember when you first got cable and you went through all the channels and you thought it was the best thing ever. Well that’s XM Radio for me right now and it’s definitely the wave of the future. Just like the bands we cover at Metal Sludge. Pretty Boy Floyd, Warrant, Tyketto, and Enuff Z’Nuff, all the bands of the future! We’re cutting edge.

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Last Tuesday we did 20 Questions with Sebitchian Bach’s guitarist Adam Albright and the emails came pouring in. The great thing about putting up a 20 Questions like Adam Albright is seeing the response from the Sludgeaholics. Some of the emails we got sent were hilarious and take the Adam bashing to a new level. We gave him a few bitch slaps but wanted to leave something over for the Sludgeaholics to bash and you guys definitely took advantage of that. We even got former KNAC DJ “The Rack” to send in an email about it!

Sludge,

Oh My God.

I have NEVER in my life seen someone as fucking stupid as that guy…what’s his name again Adam. I hope I never have to interview him in the future cause I’d have to rip him a new asshole for being a moron. What up with talking shit about Scott Ian like that. NOT COOL. For the love of all that is real, someone send him back to grammar school.

Just had to write and give some Sludge Love

Truly,
The Vox formerly known as “Rack”
Vicki Vox
Assistant Program Director
Real.Rock.Radio.
106.3 The Buzz

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I have never written before, but after reading the 20 questions with Adam Albright, I just had to chime in.

I’ve NEVER read anything so awful in my life!!! I’m the kind of guy that can let a typo here & there go, or but COME ON!! There were more misspelled words, run-on sentences & bad grammar than the 1st day of English for a Chineese Kindergarten class.

I have an 8 year old daughter, who could hold a more intelligent conversation than Adam.
I actually felt embarrassed for him.

I have always loved Skid Row, & think Sebastian has a KILLER voice! ( In the studio anyway ) But how can he spend any amount of time with a guy who can’t communicate?

You were very forgiving in the amount of Bitch slaps you gave him. I thought you were at least 16 shy of what was deserved.

Thanks for posting this 20 Q’s………. I laughed AND cried the whole time.
And who knows? Maybe Sebastian will be nice enough to send Adam to school someday.

Mark,
Nashville TN

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Adam Albright 20 questions was the single, most retarded thing I have ever read. I could barely understand it because he has a 5th grade writing level. Hopefully McDonald’s will be hiring when “Bach Tight 5″ wraps up their tour. McDonald’s is equal opportunity employment right? God, I hope so because the unemployment office will have a REALLY hard time reading his application. Good Luck Adam, you moron!

Susan

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Well boys and girls,

I think you might want to start looking for a worst 20 questions of 2005, ‘cuz I think Adam just wrapped up 2004.

That might be the worst since you guys opened for biz? Pearcy’s was rotten but Albright’s was stinkin’ like fresh chili shit!
Not So Big John

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I just gotta say, that the interview with Adam Albright was one of the worst I’d ever read………but through no fault of Metal Sludge………that shit had to be provided for the entertainment value of others……….

Was that fuckwit speeding off his tits when he answered those questions? He sounds so delusional, and he’s really a nobody, ya gotta have balls to be ragging on Scott Ian – maybe Adam should look at the Sludge Career Scans.

It’s not a surprise that this moron is playing in a band with Sebitchian……….I’m still pissing myself laughing………..lets hope I stop soon, I don’t want to wet the bed tonight…….

Shinbone

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Hey Sludge,

After reading Mark “Captain Saftey” Torien’s last bunch of bullshit I thought it couldnt get any worse. But then that fucktard from bach tight 5 comes out of no where and totally took the cake. I love reading the 20 questions but that 1 just pissed me off. the guy can’t type, let alone get a
point across because he keeps babbling on about being bald, smoking pot, and swinging from Sebitchians nuts. And what the fuck was with him bashing on Scott Ian? I’ve met Scott he’s totally cool to everyone. That douche bag is probably just pissed because Scott can actually play guitar and is the real deal with the bald look. What the hell was he trying to prove with that
interview? If he was going for “Look at me, I’m a poser” then congratulations!(ad abnoctious exclaimation points here) But all that aside, kickass work with the bitchslap you administerd throughout the questions. If Sebastian wants to be taken seriously maybe he shouldn’t employ crackheads.

Jim
Chicago, IL

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Well, I guess Baz is doing one decent thing by giving jobs to the under-educated. Christ, I feel like a couple hundred brain cells died trying to decipher that interview.

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Adam Albright WHAT A COCK.

WHAT MORE CAN I SHOUT…”Adam Albright WHAT A COCK”

He’s obviously been up Bachs monkey ass which has dislodged his brain from the rest of his body.

I’m sorry but Adam Albright WHAT A COCK!

I rest my case your warship.

Tony Spunkinhieserofen

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Hey Sludge,

What the fuck?!…

I just finished reading the Adam Albright 20 Questions, Jesus fucking Christ…this guy isn’t the tallest tree in the forest. First off, he creates the ultimate sin by bashing Scott Ian, the Sludge God. I don’t care how drunk you are, if you insult Scott Ian in any form, you’re not only a world class tool, but you deserve a serious beat down. Secondly, sorry to break this to you, but Sebastian isn’t the greatest metal singer of all time, he’s not even a decent metal singer to tell you the honest to god’s truth. This guy must have been fuckin drunk to call Bach a smart man, because any person who wears a shirt reading AIDS KILL FAGS DEAD, deserves a world class beat down, and should be shot and pissed on. Do yourself a favour Adam, get out while you still can, and go back to making cabinets.

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It would appear that Adam is a few shrimps short of a BBQ

Sally – Aussie Sludgette
xoxox

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Man, I tried to read this, but I had to stop at question #8. Not only were my eyes buggin’ out from that lack of good spelling, grammar, and punctuation, but the dude is a dick. I even read all of the 20 questions of people I’ve never heard of (like this moron), but never have I stopped because someone was such a punk. You guys must seriously be hard-up to have someone send these in. Next time, just skip a week or two…we Sludgeaholics will totally understand.

I’m out like the periods and commas in this dudes 20 ?’s.

Dean Ogletree

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Are you kidding me? That interview was probably as hard to read as the band will be hard to listen to. Dude is nothing but a loser, who, if he didn’t play guitar (and that’s probably stretching it), would be washing cars for a living. The poster child for primary education. What a perfect choice this “band”.

El Bruce

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I am now stupider for reading that.

Chris Blacklock

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Well….what can I say ?

Apparently the internet has outlived man’s ability to use it with any degree of intelligence.

It must have been hard for Sebastian to find musicians that he could be the intellectual superior to, but I see he’s succeeded.

Dumbest. Musician. Ever.

I’m out like that dick’s punctuation.

Tim

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That was very,very funny. But what intrigues me most is the aftermath of what he has done. I’m sure if Sebastian wasn’t that bothered about Metal Sludge anymore he would have done 20 questions himself, knowing full well you’d be ACHING to hear his responses.I think this guy has about a week left in this band.
I’m begging you, keep us all informed, because I have this wierd feeling that this is going to be extremely funny.
Kudos to you for taking full advantage of a guy when he is drunk. HAHAHAHA

INTERMISSION

Reading post after post on how Adam Albright has the IQ of a house plant if fun but lets all take a break and regroup. Go take a piss if you have to. Stretch your legs. Go check out the Gossip Board to see if anybody is talking shit about you.

By the way, The Boneyard is currently playing Rob Zombine “Feel So Numb.”

We now return with our regularly scheduled Adam Albright bashing.

Hey Sludgefuckers:

I don’t usually bitch but this time I just have to say something. Is it just me or did anyone else have a fuck of a time understanding what Adam Albright wrote in his interview? Obviously he’s far to busy with the success of Bach Tight 5 to use spell check (sarcasm mode off). Had to use that guys, was far too tempting. Obviously literacy isn’t a prerecquisite in joining Bach’s band. Anyway enough bitching about that. Truth is “Sebitchian” as he is affectionately known by you guys, should just realize he isn’t anything without Skid Row and will never reach superstar status. It’s impossible for him to achieve that because he has made himself what he is, a has-been. Maybe it’s time to change the attitude just a bit Bas? Think about it. I class him in the same “Disappointing Has-Been Stars” as Vince Neil. Vince used to be a god to me, now all he is is a joke just like Bas. Kinda hurts now sitting here thinking what my role models have become now. But, I still have my idol and the god off the bass guitar still lives strong. NO IM NOT TALKING ABOUT GENE SIMMONS!!! Another has been I think. I’m talking about Nikki Sixx, the true bass-god and visionary. Listened to some of the Brides Of Destruction stuff recently and I fuckin’ loved it!!! You still got it Nikki. You gave me 20+ years of listening pleasure, let’s go for another 20 ok? Ok Sludgers I’m done my bitching for now. Peace out from the Great White North……….Shawn

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Yo Sludge-
All I can say is, the last time I checked, Scott Ian was from New York, and he seems like the kind of guy with lots of connections. I certainly hope he uses them to inlist the “help” of some very ,very large Italian men to assist this douche bag Adam Albright with his problems. What
an asshole. Talk about shooting yourslef in the foot! -d2

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I’m not even half way through the damn 20 questions and I’m getting dizzy from trying to decipher what the fuck this guy is writing. All sludgeaholics will be at least 10% dumber after reading this 20 questions. Jeez……

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Hey guys, I just read your 20 questions with Adam Albright (no the guys not All bright), and I have to say, that was the most STUPID, illiterate 20 questions I have ever seen in my life. I had to stop a few times to scratch my head & ask myself, is this guy for real? Can anyone be THIS stupid? You can almost see the poor bastard staring at his computer screen cross eyed, with drool dripping from his mouth. It never ceases to amaze me just how ignorant someone can be, but this has to be a new record of dumb. If I was going to buy their cd before (which I wasn’t), but if I was, I sure won’t now. What a joke! Bobby (wineandromance)

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Hey Sludge,

I just read that whacked out 20 with that no talent inbred fuck from the Bach tight 5. I know supposedly he is drunk or high or, well inbred. The thing I can’t figure out is why he thinks he is hot shit and a badass to boot. I have seen Sebastian twice and to tell you the truth….he fuckin’ rocked. Then I look at this line-up and see a bunch of low rent musicians (excluding bam bam) and a fucking rag tag looking Bach. When I see the photo’s and here the lingo coming from the Bach camp I know he is pretty much dried up as a great rock singer and front man. Now he’s just riding on what he had in Skid Row totally…..Vince and Jani welcome you with open arms to obscurity. Put down the bong, pick up the phone and mend your childish feud with snake, and for god’s sake put some makeup on.

I am out like adam albright’s edumacation

foreverrocker

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Hey Sludge, I’m writing in from the ass-end of the world – Australia. Just want to say that me and the boyz all love your website – keep up the good work! Sadly for us, we don’t get to see a lot of the bands you talk about (‘cos they just don’t bother coming down here!) which really sucks….even Iron Maiden didn’t bother including us in their recent tour – how shitty is that? All we get is f**kin’ Metallica….shit they suck…you guys should consider yourselves lucky to get to see these hard rock bands as often as you do! Even a Vince Neil tour would be nice! (which goes to show how desperate we’re getting down here!)

Anyway, to the point – Adam Albright has come accross as the BIGGEST DICK HEAD I have ever had the displeasure to read about. His 20 questions were so pathetic…who the hell does he think he is? HE’S A NOBODY! F**k him! Does he even speak English? What a dumb f**k…..A dipshit like him should not even be allowed to THINK about other artirsts, let alone talk shit about them….F**K YOU ADAM.

I’m out like Janet Jackson’s breast.

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all I can say is that this guy, is in fact, proof, that drugs are bad kids. His response to question 16 says it all:

16. Sebastian has said on his site that you guys have been writing a lot of new material. How has the songwriting sessions gone so far and has anybody had the balls to disagree with Sebastian yet or do you guys just keep your mouth shut and let him always be right?

fuck that i argue with him the most im a dip shit but i know what im doing so its cool but you cant make something great without anybody fighing we wrestled once but not to long hes a big dude but next tour its on and i never keep my mouth shut !!! but you gotta know seabastian wants the best heavy music for you guys so he not gonna let shit slide either !!!!!!

that’s it in a nutshell… im a dip shit

I’m out like Adam’s three-legged kat…

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Adam Albright is the most un-intelligent person on the planet……..

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Jani:
I read, or tried to read, Adam Albrights 20 questions. When he discussed the phone call with Sabitchian and was “tired” of explaining it, I decided I was a gluten for punishment and went to look for the conversation from his links. Well, his web site is about as clear as his writing style and I was not able to find the information on the Sabitichian hook up. I did want to commend you on your bitch slaps, I think that he had much more Sludge love coming. In this case the love
should have hurt! *Note, only ONE exclamation mark was used to protect the innocent.
Thanks for your time~
Red

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Jani,
I’m not sure which one of you write the 20 questions section, but the newest entry was just painful.
Normally it is the awesome!!!!!!
It gave me a f-ing headache trying to make out what Adam ‘ IQ of a slipper’ Albright was saying.
He could not have been that stupid!!!!!!!!!
I’m not a ‘english major’ but even a 5th grader tries to use grammar.
Thank the good lord this guy found the guitar because without it he would be mowing my front yard with a pair of scissors.

BFD

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Holy fuck – I don’t think you’ve interviewed a bigger fucking moron than Adam Albright!

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My 10 year old retarded brother can form a better sentence than that jerk-off. I feel dumber having tried to decipher that 20 questions.
-Kristy Whisperz

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um…WTF?!?!
i just tried to muddle through the mess that was Adam Albright’s [boy… there’s a name. it should be Adam NOTbright] 20 Questions interview.

it occurs to me that the term ‘moron’ is often tossed about, but never has it been so aptly applied as when i say:
THAT GUY IS A FRIGGIN’ MORON!!

i can only imagine what wonderous musical gems can originate from such a fertile mind.
sarcasm mode: off.

if he’s this stupid when he’s trying to promote his shit, how must he be when he’s face to face with the public?
i can see why Sebastian Bach has him around, however.
hanging with brainiacs like this guy can only make him seem smarter!

keep sludgin’!
Susan W

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What the fuck?

Where the hell did Sebitchian find this Adam Albright guy? The short bus? This 20 questions is so bad it’s good. Adam and Chris Van Dahl should get together sometime! Neither Adam’s mathematical skills nor his liguistics are up to snuff – 4 + 0 does NOT equal (Bach Tight) 5, ya jackass!

Seriously, this 20 questions forces us all to consider the scary possibility that Sebitchian is the intellectual superior in this band.

Later,
Adrian Coverdale

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That has to be the most cringe worthy interview I ever read.
That dude is a fuckin caveman and will probably get a serious amount of shit from Bach.

How can he slag someone like Scott Ian? Scott Ian has “done it all”…..that dude hasn’t even begun and probably never will.

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Just what Metal needs in 04…

Another stupid Bald Tough Guy who can’t play leads on the guitar and is as bright as a retarded kindergartener

I take that back it is insulting to the Kindergartener….

Jesus how delusional is Bach to think this guy has any brains let a lone talent? He reeks of I SUCK

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Okay, this is the first time I’ve ever written Metal Sludge…but I had to. I know you guys slapped him down plenty in your comments, but come on – that was naff. This guy, in the immortal words of the mighty Moongoose McQueen, is a total assclown. But you know…I guess I can understand the appeal to giving coverage to guys like Sebastian Bach and Jani Lane. Everyone’s
favorite part of the zoo is the monkey house, after all…

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That mind is just awe-inspiring. Personally, I don’t even think we can wait ’til he’s dead. His brain should be immediately removed so it can be bronzed and shipped to the Smithsonian Institute.

Probably wouldn’t affect his conversation skills. Or his guitar playing.

Might even raise his I.Q. to a level Sebitchian would envy…

Eric
Columbus, OH

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That retard was put on this earth to either fix the slurpee machine or change oil at the garage – Dumb fuck – Come talk shit this way – with your mouth or your shitty detuned ass guitar – lets see what you got…

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Uh! That was a really difficult read.

I’m slightly educated, so I can’t find entertainment value in the illiterate. I don’t think that this guy made it past “Cat In The Hat.”

Or made it to “Cat In The Hat” for that matter. If he did, he would have at least rhymed in his stupidity.

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What should have taken 3 minutes to read, took me fifteen. I couldn’t understand what the fuck he was saying.

He sounds like white trash. Looks like white trash. Acts like white trash. If Bas wants any kind of *cough* respect *cough* …he’d better get rid of that guy. Annoying as fuck.

Btw, way to brag about all the weed and getting his dicked sucked. Beautiful touch to the interview.

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This interview was just PAINFUL to read! Learn the fuckin’ English language before attempting to answer questions in print! Jesus Christ! What a fuckin’ MORON! Another thing….. If this guy managed to get kicked out of the Anaheim Hilton on NAMM weekend he has GOT to be an ASSHOLE! You can be completely wasted and falling down and STILL not get kicked out! Fuckin’ RETARD!

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I’ve read just about every twenty question, rewinds, three winds, and even the one back 4 more. I don’t read many interviews outside of metal-sludge (I enjoy the humor and format they use, it’s far more entertaining) I must say this was quite possibly the worst interview I’ve ever read. Some guys are assholes, some are idiots, and some just back down from the tough questions… but this guy seems to manage to do all three. If this is all that’s left for Sebastion to play with, he should just call it a day.

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Yikes Sludge,

That Albright guy isn’t *ahem* too bright is he??? Perhaps he should change his name to “Notbright”.

I couldn’t get halfway through that mess before I gave up. Is there some inside rule in musician land you have to be an ignorant dumb fuck to be in Bach’s band?????

That guy needs to be put out of his misery – soon.

I say Sludge should give him a special award, something like “the absolute worst punctuator and speller musician in the world”…….jeeeeeeeeez!!!!!

Maybe we can all pool in and give him a spell checker?

The misery I went through trying to read his ramblings….

AC

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JEEZUS CHRIST! I just finished reading Adam Albright’s 20 questions, and my head is ringing. I don’t even know what he was saying half the time! It’s good that he knows the word “fuck” but FUCK, use some punctuation. As for Dee Snider being a smart man, I won’t contest that, but maybe Dee could hook Adam up with a grammar coach. (I hear Sylvan Center has openings.) Even my seventh grade English teacher taught us that “a lot” is two words.
As for Adam saying “who?” about a couple of the people on your list–don’t worry honey, we’re asking that about you, too. And check your tongue–you might need to wash it since it’s been so far up Sebitchian’s ass. And Sebitichian being the “best singer” in rock? Oh my Gawd, does that even deserve a retort? Let me tell ya Adam, anyone can scream–few can sing. Sebitchian
screams. End of story.
What an asshole. Sludge rules!
Beaglemom

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First off, Metal-Sludge.com kicks ass. It’s a great site and I enjoy everything about it. Normally I’d never write, but after reading that interview with Adam from Bach 5, oh man… that guy definately has to be up for Douchebag of the Year. What a fuck. Seeing that he can’t even write a complete sentence that makes ANY sense at all, I can’t even begin to think how he must play guitar. Fucking 1st graders have a stronger grasp on the English language. Hell, you come from another country, they still speak the language better. I’m sure that within the next six months, this dick head will end up being someone’s bitch in county lock up or recording his next single, “Would You Like Fries With That”.

I think that reading an interview with a Backstreet Boy would be more entertaining then that fuck.

Keep up the good work.

ROCKER!

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What the fuck?

Where the hell did Sebitchian find this Adam Albright guy? The short bus? This 20 questions is so bad it’s good. Adam and Chris Van Dahl should get together sometime! Neither Adam’s mathematical skills nor his liguistics are up to snuff – 4 + 0 does NOT equal (Bach Tight) 5, ya jackass!

Seriously, this 20 questions forces us all to consider the scary possibility that Sebitchian is the intellectual superior in this band.

Later,
Adrian Coverdale

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This guy being a fuckin retard, sounding like a caveman, talking shit about other people personally, threatening to kick certain people’s asses in print, sounding like an uneducated moron in an interview on a site that your boss hates, and basically making Sebastian Bach look even stupider than he already looks by hiring this clown all make up for a goddamned classic 20 Q’s. I loved every second of this trailer trash spewing about his arrest record and his dick being sucked at his girlfriend’s Poison concert. If I ever go see the Bach NotBright 5, I will certainly look at this jackass, and his boss, with a newfound disrespect– making the show even more fun to attend. Bach made the right choice in hiring this loser; we know all the negative shit that Bach does, but now the torch can be passed to this new inbred generation of Bach family that only compounds the fun. Long live Sludge and this kind of classic shit that you don’t find anywhere else, especially not on everyone’s other favorite lunchbreak sites like Blabbermouth and KNAC.

That’s a great name for Sebitchian’s new band…Sebitchian Bach and the Not Bright 5! Perfect!

Sometimes we send out 20 Questions and expect them to be good, or expect them to suck, and other times like with Adam, we don’t really expect anything but they turn out to be a goldmine of fun for the whole family!

By the way, the Boneyard is currently playing the new Tesla song “Caught In A Dream.” Just keeping you posted. I think they’ve played the entire new Tesla CD and it sounds like classic Tesla but still current. There’s my review.

Now onto Sebitchian’s other “friend” Marq Torien. Ozzy Stillbourne’s rant on Ozzy last week was also classic and here are your thoughts on that.

I loved the Metal Sludge response to Marq’s delusions.

I have a confession: I went to see the BulletBoys last April here in Minneapolis. They played The Rock, a nightclub that has become the 80s hairband depository. The club can hold several hundred people, but it didn’t that night. Which is surprising, considering all the BulletBoys fans still cranking their CDs 13-14 years later. (Sarcasm mode off.)

The cover charge was $10 or $12, and there was a local band opening. There was a decent crowd assembled, but not more than a few hundred. I’m not sure why everybody wound up at The Rock that night, but for some of the crowd, it certainly wasn’t because of the BulletBoys. The crowd noticably thinned out during their set.

Their set included one of their upcoming new songs, “Shake Me Awake!” Apparently the BulletBoys are a generic pop act now. Memo to Marq: You’re not Good Charlotte, which I liked better when they were called Blink 182. (No, scratch that second part. I didn’t like Blink 182 either.)

The best part of the night: after their set, Marq comes out, by himself, for a brief encore. He makes a short speech to the 100+ people still hanging around, this sucker included. He starts to ramble on about losing his good friend, Ty Longley. Now it’s not a stretch to think that Marq, eternally 39 years old, would cross paths with a younger guitar player who was gigging
with Great White. But to hear Marq talk about it, this was his brother who died. I thought that sounded a bit contrived, and now that I read he’s pimping his close personal friendship with Layne Staley, I know how much of a fraud this guy is.

Is there an apartment available in the fantasy world Marq is living in? I haven’t had delusions of grandeur in quite some time.

Jason McBastard
Minneapolis

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Dear Sludge:

Kudos on deflating Marq Torien’s out-of-control ego. I noticed something about his interview that might be worth pointing out. He credits the Bullet Boys with basically breaking Alice In Chains into the national spotlight. When Alice In Chains toured with Bullet Boys, they were both opening for Poison during the band’s “Flesh And Blood” tour. So essentially, Poison takes the credit for exposing Alice In Chains to a wider audience, not Bullet Boys. Again, this is another feather in Marq’s cap that doesn’t deserve to be there in the first place. It kind of feeds into the notion that if you tell enough lies, you start believing them. If this commentary gets posted on your site, then please allow me this time to offer a public service announcement to Marq Torien…

DENIAL — IT ISN’T JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT ANYMORE!!!

I’m out like Marq Torien’s grasp on reality.

RJC

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Marq is older than 43! Robbin Crosby said he was the baby in the band (Ratt) when Marq was in it. I saw them with Marq in 1981 and remember Robbin distinctly saying that. Then there was Jake E. Lee, then whoever and then Warren who’s at least 40 now (Warren became the baby). Fuck, next thing Blotzer will be 29 and holding…

That lame fuck was old to me then (I’m 39), and always delusional. I remember his Hawk/New Hawk crap… He was an hour late for a 35 minute set in ’86 because of hair problems?! That fucked up our set and left us with 8 minutes until curfew! What a jagoff!

You guys are too nice.

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Great job ripping Marq up this week!

Couple of comments: I first saw Alice in Chains when they were the opening act for the Clash of the Titans tour. That tour featured Anthrax, Megadeth, and Slayer. We had never heard of Alice in Chains until then. I think the “Man in a Box” video was just released. So, if any freaking tour is responsible for getting them any attention, it was this one, not the Bullet Boys. Also, Marq is totally full of shit on the Ray Davies story. Ray did not chase the guy down and hold him for the cops after he got shot. He did get shot, chased the purse snatchers, but they got away. All he did was get
their license plate number. After that, the cops chased them down. Not to
take anything away from Davies, but Torien is just making shit up.

Your “Sludge-Friendly DJ that’s not on your list” from 97.3 KGRR in Dubuque,
Iowa. Johnny Rhodes

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Yo Ozzy –
First off, I wanted to say that your post on Marq Torien’s stupefying interview was top-shelf. Seriously, the way you dissected virtually every monkey shit statement that Torien managed to disgorge and then spew all over the unsuspecting radio listeners was right on. You refuted it with specific facts and figures, which got me to thinking that if the so-called “journalists” at the New York Times would read Sludge a little more often, they wouldn’t be getting charlatans like Jayson Blair on the front page. After reading it and taking a gander at the career totals Sludgescan, I have a couple thoughts on Marq Torien:
1. First off, and this has bothered me ever since I came across this fellow, what in the blue fuck is up with spelling your name “Marq?” What, is that cool or something? Clever? Only lame-o’s spell it the conventional way, so “Marq” has to be a rock rebel and spell it with a Q? Maybe I should spell my name “Math-U.” Wouldn’t I just be cooler than an igloo in frigging January.
2. I wanted to shit on my computer screen when I read that bit about Layne Staley. I’m not the biggest AIC fan in the world, and I don’t have a ton of pity for Staley either, but this was just jaw-dropping ridiculous. “We took those guys out when they weren’t even signed.” Like the almighty BulletBoys were some magnanimous, star-making machine that gave Alice In Chains the break that they needed. It’s a good thing “Marq” and his boys came galloping in on their white horses and saved little old AIC, or else those guys would’ve gone nowhere! Never mind that Alice In Chains hit with a heavy twist on grunge as Nirvana and Pearl Jam were changing the music scene, it was the BulletBoys, with their record-breaking album sales and their played-out hard rock sound that made Alice In Chains the band it became. In related news, the flying monkeys from “Wizard of Oz” are currently shooting out of my ass. “Layne Staley was a really good friend of mine?” Please. I once spotted weights for New York Yankee Paul O’Neil at the gym, but I don’t point to the TV whenever the Yankees are on and say “See O’Neil? He’s my good buddy from way back.” Same thing. Just because you shared a needle with Staley 10 years ago doesn’t make you “good friends.”
3. Reading “Marq’s” words, you’d think that the BulletBoys are some legendary band that have been soldiering on, shaping the rock landscape for the past 20 years. Let me tell you something – if you’re in Metallica, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Iron Maiden, Aerosmith, or a band in that stratosphere, you can talk about being important. Ozzy Osbourne can talk war stories. “Marq” Torien has no business saying anything other than “We rode a musical trend for a few years, never really got too popular, and now I’m just still out there doing it. Not because I love music or anything, I just have no other marketable skills.”

I’m out like Torien’s mind,
Matthew

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I just wanted to say your “Delusions of a BulletBoy” was hilarious!! My two year old son was in the room when I played the “Marq Torien then and now” wave file. He began laughing hysterically and pointed to the computer and said “again”!! We probably listened to it 10 times or more and each time my son laughed even harder. My daughter, who is four, then came into the room and said “can you play that funny noise again?” Even my kids got a kick out of it! Thanks and keep the sludge coming!

INTERMISSION #2

I thought I’d take the time now to update you on what the Boneyard is playing. They’re playing Extreme “Wind Me Up.” That’s rather obscure. This was back when Nuno wasn’t ashamed to have been in the band.

Lets now return to discussing the deliusions of Marq Torien, also known as Mark Maytoreina.

Ok, this is silly. First off, I grew up in Washington and knew AIC before, during, & after. I saw them on tour when they were opening up for the bullet boys and AIC hated them especially Marc. The next year when AIC toured clubs, they came out and the first thing Lane said was “God it’s nice to be back without those faggots, the bullet boys”. Lane thought they were a joke. He traded in the bulletboys for Gruntruck & My Sister’s Machine. (Both great Seattle bands). What is even funnier is that Marq is making a feeble attempt to cash in on Lane’s death. What a sad fucker!

In addition, I am friends with someone who is very close to his wife’s family and the stories I could tell you would have you on the floor. He is in fact 43 and he is very pathetic, I think it’s best just to leave those things unsaid as your story speaks volumes.

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I have to admit I wouldnt have believed that interview with Marq, but the truth is I witnessed it here in Denver! I have always been a fan of the Bulletboys ,my old band had opened for them several times, it was cool to become friends with the guys. But when I saw Marq recently, something was “different” with him, but I couldnt put my finger on it.To make along story short here are some comments from him on stage 2 weeks ago in Denver.
1.”You guys wanna hear some old shit?” -crowd responds with warm reception
2.”We’re gonna be on the road this summer with The Foo Fighters!”- what?
3.”Im sick of our old shit, were gonna play some songs of the new Cd!”-more confussion..
4.”We’re doing some dates with Velvet Revolver this summer!”- ok…
5.”We’re going out with Dave( as in Roth) & some of the” big boys” this summer!”-???
6.”This song is for my good friend Layne Staley”
7.”This next song was recorded with my good friend Sebastain Bach, he wanted to apologize to you guys for not being here tonight!”,( he missed his plane, or got delayed, something like that)
8″.We’re going out with Tesla this summer, see ya guys soon!”-( By this time,I was very confused .)

For the record, I really am a fan, I’m not talkin smack ,(but youre story made realize something is up with those guys).. but I had to tell you what I had seen & heard recently, and as fan of the band they are the same without Mick & Jimmy, not even close.
METAL SLUDEG RULES!!!
NAME WITHHELD PER MY REQUEST, THANKS!!!

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Ozzy, A-fucking-men on the Marq Torien article! That was straight-up BULLSHIT… the stuff coming out of his mouth. Like Cartman did on Southpark, Marq should try to take a crap out of his mouth, because obviously that’s where all the SHIT comes from. The Bulletboys never WERE huge, they aren’t now, nor will they ever be. There are LOCAL bands that can draw more than the Bulletboys could draw. Did you notice how he said “Tesla and the Bulletboys” would be a good tour? As if Tesla is going to be opening for the Bulletboys when the Bulletboys would only be at that concert if they bought fucking tickets… if they had the money! Or swept the floors after the concert was over. Like many rockers, Marq Torien is a shadow of his former self, and an ugly one at that. To steal a phrase from former New York Yankees pitcher David Wells, Marq Torien looks like The Rock had sex with a muppet.

I’m out like Marq(ueer) Torien should be of the closet,

REST… IN… SLUDGE,

Justin S. Axel
Minneapolis, MN

As I end this post, I’m sure you’re wondering what The Boneyard is playing so let me fill you in. They’re playing “Uh, All Night” by Kiss! Well, they can’t always play great stuff. When Kiss sat back and listened to the chorus of this song, what the fuck where they thinking? “Uh, All Night?” No wonder the scene died. It’s almost so bad it’s good.

bastard boy floyd
“When you work all night, you wanna Sludge, All Night”